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(04/29/02 6:00am)
I'm sorry if I gave any of you readers the impression that last
week was my final column, because, as you can see, it wasn't.
Though, I must admit, I'm a little confused as to why you would
think that. After all, Mr. Rogers was the one saying goodbye and
last I checked... yup, my name's still Matt Worzala. But it's OK,
mistakes happen.
(04/22/02 6:00am)
It's a beautiful day for a column today, a beautiful day for a
reader. Could you read mine? Would you read mine? Won't you read my
column?
(04/15/02 6:00am)
STEP 5: It is important get the Touchtone Lady on her heels.
Come out swinging or she's going to eat you alive. Keep this step
next to your phone, or else write these numbers down and keep them
nearby. Remember, timing is everything in this step as EVERYONE on
campus is trying to get into the same four classes as you are. He
who hesitates spends the next 5 summers taking classes.
(04/08/02 6:00am)
Iwas standing in line this week waiting to have my picture taken
for the yearbook when my friends Jeff and Mare came up to me with a
simple request.
(04/01/02 6:00am)
I'm sure many of you are wondering how I, as the kids say,
\bling-blinged"" this spring break. Well let me tell you'my break
was, as those same kids say, on the hook! Or is it off the hook? If
those rappers enunciated better I'd know for sure, but it
definitely involves a hook. Or maybe it was a book. Look, my break
was great; that's what I'm trying to say.
(03/18/02 6:00am)
It's a beautiful day for a column today, a beautiful day for a
reader. Could you read mine? Would you read mine? Won't you read my
column?
(03/11/02 6:00am)
It's a beautiful day for a column today, a beautiful day for a
reader. Could you read mine? Would you read mine? Won't you read my
column?
(03/04/02 6:00am)
I took Wednesday night off from working off my debt to The
Rolling Stones to watch the men's team become Big Ten Champions.
Big Ten Champions? How on earth did that happen? Yup, I was one of
the doubters of this 2002 team. But could you blame me?
(02/25/02 6:00am)
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.\ Al Pacino
says this line in the movie ""The Godfather Part III"", and it's a
great line, despite coming from a movie that ate rocks. It's also a
line that I can relate to as in recent days I have once again been
pulled into a situation I thought I had escaped long ago.
(02/18/02 6:00am)
Let me begin by saying I do not take war lightly. As a history
student, I believe I have a pretty decent grasp of what war can do,
not only to the combatants but to the countries used for
battlefields and the innocent civilians. Understand, then, it was
only through much soul-searching that I reached my final decision.
We need to bomb Russia back into the Stone Age. Before some of you
flip out over turning Russia into a giant Eurasian parking lot, I'd
like you to keep two things in mind.
(02/11/02 6:00am)
Tomorrow is Abraham Lincoln's birthday and as a history major, I
feel it's my duty to educate people about the life of Mr. Lincoln.
I've already told you all you need to know about George Washington,
namely that he lived in the 18th century, swore and got punked by
the French when he was younger and now I'd like to do the same for
Lincoln, who was an even greater president than Washington
was.
(02/04/02 6:00am)
Yeah, so I went out and had a good time this weekend. Maybe a
little too good, however, as I didn't realize that I had a column
due for today until the Super Bowl halftime show sobered me right
up. In a panic I quickly called up my editor, Ellen, to beg for
some more time.
(01/28/02 6:00am)
Here we are, 2002. The old Double Deuce. Now, I'm no
predictatologist, but I've got a bad feeling coming into this year.
The storm clouds are gathering, my friends. Don't believe me? Look
at the evidence.
(01/23/02 6:00am)
(12/12/01 6:00am)
Well, it's that time of year again, ladies and gentlemen, that
special time of year that brings us all'Christian, Muslim, Jew or
Odin worshiper'together. That's right, it's FINALS TIME! YAY! Oh,
and what a fun time it is, too. The books, the papers, the nervous
twitch in your hand from too much caffeine'they're all signs of
this glorious, almost spiritual time of year.
(12/03/01 6:00am)
First off, I'd like to preface this article by kindly pointing
out that my residents are full of it. You know how your friends can
be'they take one little thing you do and they blow it up to epic
proportions until they're convinced that it's bigger than it really
is. So let me state for the record, I AM NOT addicted to Dr. Mario.
That's just ridiculous.
(11/26/01 6:00am)
In what is quickly becoming a Worzala brothers tradition, John
and I again visited our friend Don over Thanksgiving break. And, in
what is also becoming a tradition, I'm sharing the highlights of
the evening with you, my faithful readers.
(11/19/01 6:00am)
It's a beautiful day for a column today, a beautiful day for a
reader. Could you read mine? Would you read mine? Won't you read my
column?
(11/12/01 6:00am)
With no Badger football this weekend, my residence hall figured
what better way to spend a lazy Saturday shooting each other in the
face with hard paint chunks moving at incredible speeds? Unable to
think of one, we set out for a day of paintball fun.
(11/05/01 6:00am)
For those of you who don't know, I'm a housefellow down in the
Lakeshore area. And as a housefellow, I would just like to say
thank you to the university for scheduling Homecoming the same
weekend that the majority of this campus celebrated Halloween. I
needed that like I needed a good stiff kick to the head.