Iwas standing in line this week waiting to have my picture taken for the yearbook when my friends Jeff and Mare came up to me with a simple request.
\Matt,"" said Jeff. ""You should do another column about registration.""
""AHHHHH!"" I replied since I had been reading the paper and didn't know they were behind me. After they helped me up off the floor, however, I started thinking and I realized that yes, it would be a good idea to do a column about registration. Why? Because I'm a hard-hitting journalist and this is the sort of thing I do to help my fellow students.
And also because I think it might be good for two columns worth of material. So here, without any further ado, I present??
Matt Worzala's Guide to Registration:
STEP -1: Get yourself a Fall Registration Guide. (Note: For best results, try to find one for the 2002 fall semester.) This is Step -1 because if you didn't already know that you needed a registration booklet, the rest of this guide isn't going to do you any good whatsoever.
STEP 1: With your current or potential major in mind, as well as the other requirements you will need to fulfill in order to graduate, page through the booklet and select between three and five classes for a total of 12 to 17 credits. These classes should lay out to provide plenty of passing time, a break for a mid-day meal and ample opportunity to study for each class without feeling rushed.
Now, you may be thinking that I'm going to tell you to tie this schedule to a rock and toss it into the lake like last year, but guess again my friend. That's both pessimistic and bad for the ecosystem of the lake.
Instead, I suggest that you place it in a safe deposit box and keep it there till the last semester of your senior year. You still won't be able to get into any of those classes, but by that time you won't care.
STEP 2: Just like last year, you will now have to rip each page of the booklet out and line them up along your wall. Now, throw your set of darts at the pages. Where they hit, that's your schedule. For those of you who are returning students you can simplify this process by choosing the next class offered that is numerically higher than the class you took last year.
For example, if you took Medical Microbiology and Immunology 350: Parasitology last semester (and who didn't?) this semester you would take 410: Medical Mycology. Hoooo baby! Talk about a barnburner!
STEP 3: Buy yourself a radio alarm clock. Even if you already own one, buy another for reasons you will see later. After purchasing it, set the alarm for the time that you are scheduled to register. Now even if you are in the middle of an intense Dr. Mario battle you will know that your time has come.
STEP 4: When your new alarm clock alerts you that it is time to register for classes, take your schedule, a cup of water and your alarm clock over to the phone and prepare to register. Before dialing, you may wish to say a small prayer to whatever deity you hold dear to help guide you through your upcoming strife. Then take a deep breath, have a sip of your water, and dial 263-2222. Prepare yourself, because you are about to go head to head with?? THE TOUCHTONE LADY.
OUT!
