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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Alex Tucker


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The Dirty Bird: The protocol of a well-executed booty call

Although we may not have all done it, everyone knows what booty calls look like. Booty calls can be incessant 2 a.m. phone calls or texts that range from “U up?” to “Wanna hang?” to the ever creative “Hey.” Booty calls often have an end goal, whether it be full-on fucking, super cute cuddling or anything in between.

Daily Cardinal
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The Dirty Bird: How to charm the pants off your spring sweetie

SING IT WITH ME: “When the weather outside is increasingly less frightful and you’re still a pyromaniac...” as the old spring-beckoning song goes, it’s often time we find ourselves a mate! Sometimes it’s the slightly above-zero temperatures and sometimes it’s that lull in the middle of the semester when we’re up 15 pounds, but whatever the case may be, it seems more couples pop up in the spring semester than any other time of year.

Daily Cardinal
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The Dirty Bird: How to train your angry dragon... AND MORE!

If anybody has seen 40-Year-Old Virgin as many times as I have (No, you haven’t. Yes, I’m sure.), then they’ll understand the obsession with Urban Dictionary that sprang in the wake of the film’s success. One of the funniest scenes shows one of Steve Carell’s coworkers assuring him he’s not missing out on sex because life is about love, not the “Cincinnati Bow Tie” or the “Dirty Sanchez.”

Love Pyramid
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The Dirty Bird: Have a heartfelt Valentine's Day (lol pun)

Anecdotally, last Valentine’s Day was the bee’s knees for me. I got very lucky and happened to go on a date to Walt Disney World’s EPCOT Center with a man whose day job was portraying Prince Charming. When I got home I had several messages waiting from the boy I loved about how much he missed me and felt lonely without me in Madison. It fucking rocked.

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