Jordan Simon

ALMANAC

In the era of coronavirus nothing matters anymore, so why is it still so hard to win a stuffed animal from a claw machine?

Jordan Simon | 04/27/2020 7:19pm

ALMANAC

Cardinalscopes: How you will contract coronavirus based on your sign

Haley Bills and Jordan Simon | 04/24/2020 9:33pm

ALMANAC

Mifflin was ‘murican AF this year

Jordan Simon | 04/24/2020 5:52pm

ALMANAC

Opinion: I was filing for unemployment weeks before it was cool

Jordan Simon | 04/23/2020 11:09am

ALMANAC

Evers: Illinois residents to be placed on each street corner as encouragement for Wisconsinites to stay inside

Jordan Simon | 04/21/2020 10:27am

ALMANAC

Announcing an end to their use of superdelegates, the Democratic Party plans to interfere with democratic process using far subtler method: Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots

Jordan Simon | 03/30/2020 6:10pm

ALMANAC

Tom Brady social distances from New England Patriots, self isolates in Tampa Bay

Jordan Simon | 03/21/2020 4:05pm

ARTS

Railroad Earth brings folk rock energy and musical versatility to The Sylvee

Jordan Simon | 03/12/2020 8:00am

ALMANAC

STEM departments uncancel class: “Coronavirus panic creates exact type of stressful environment we want to train our students to thrive in”

Jordan Simon | 03/12/2020 12:00am

ALMANAC

Report: Jesus definitely did cocaine

Jordan Simon | 03/09/2020 6:44pm

SunSquabi shares their insight about live improvisation, the use of technology in funk and connecting with fans

Jordan Simon | 03/05/2020 6:07pm

ALMANAC

Elizabeth Warren Accused of Tanking Campaign to Receive First Overall Draft Pick for 2024 Presidential Election

Jordan Simon | 03/04/2020 6:40pm

ARTS

Pip the Pansy Dazzles Earthlings in Madison

Jordan Simon | 02/20/2020 10:07am

ARTS

Comedian Paul Virzi talks Wisconsin, performing personal material, The Irishman, and more prior to his three-day run in Madison.

Jordan Simon | 02/06/2020 3:00pm

ALMANAC

EU finally receives divorce it deserves from obnoxious, self-centered partner

Jordan Simon | 02/06/2020 9:23am

ALMANAC

An analysis of the phrase “hot as balls”

Jordan Simon | 02/06/2020 12:00am

ALMANAC

Preston: A post-apocalyptic social commentary of germ-normous importance [Sponsored by Lysol]

Jordan Simon | 01/30/2020 12:00am

ALMANAC

Almanac Icebreakers

Haley Bills , Jordan Simon and Madison Moore | 01/21/2020 12:00am

ALMANAC

After over 5,600 NetID accounts hacked, UW-Madison moves to implement third factor of authentication

Jordan Simon | 01/21/2020 12:00am

ALMANAC

Stubborn, obsessive child insists on being the goddamn blue power ranger for the third Halloween in a row

Jordan Simon | 10/31/2019 12:00am