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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, June 14, 2024

Spooky Time??

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

As we embark on this spooky spooky time,

You better prepare yourselves for some spooky rhyme.

But you see …

Everywhere I turn my eyes

All the people are in disguise!

Because they are in costumes! Ooh spooky.

Frightful Fears.

Fears so big so outlandish,

There doth be tears.

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And haunted houses are oober goober spooky.


Did I spook you?

I think I did.

I sometimes eat too much candy and get a belly ache.

… just so you know.

There is a Halloween party and it is so cool,

Over there on the street!

Someone is dressed as a ghoul!

That’s cool.

Super cool.

Halloween is a holiday.

Sexy nurse.

Twix. Twix, Twix. Snickers;

Whoppers is not a good candy.


Hear my werewolf howl!


I am outside and it is dark and

It is

Very spooky.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup,

More like Reese’s Peanut Butter …


I couldn’t think of a thing.

I like the Easter Reese’s better anyway.

Because they are shaped like eggs.

It makes it better, wouldn’t you say?

But they do have pumpkins and bats.

Those are gooood Reese’s.

David S. Pumpkins

Why can’t we trick and treat.

This is what is wrong with society.

I once knew a guy who stabbed a pumpkin a lot and then said it was a Jack-O-Lantern.

And I was like,


That’s crazy man.”

In spooky conclusion,

We all must revel in this spooky delusion.

Also ghosts

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