Quiz: Which Civil War general would your best friend say you are?
1. How many teeth do you have?
Use the fields below to perform an advanced search of The Daily Cardinal's archives. This will return articles, images, and multimedia relevant to your query. You can also try a Basic search
110 items found for your search. If no results were found please broaden your search.
1. How many teeth do you have?
INDIO, Calif.—Sources within the California Natural Resources Agency confirmed Wednesday that the state’s last usable water was spent cleansing someone’s anus at the Coachella Music Festival.
1500—Dukes Friedrich and Johann try to subdue the peasantry with force, but are overwhelmingly defeated due to the fact that Dukes don’t actually know how to do anything.
$81,208: Feed the posh kittens.
Take out your smartphone and download my app. Trust me when I say it will be the best decision you make today.
An intoxicated Madison driver was taken into custody for colliding twice with a driver’s education vehicle at the intersection of North Stoughton Road and East Washington Avenue Wednesday, according to a Madison Police Department report.
1302—The Battle of Reading occurs. Everyone cries.
1521—The Diet of Worms is held in Germany by the Holy Roman Empire. If you think that’s bad, afterward, they drank the blood of Christ.
1302—Dante Alighieri is exiled from Florence. He spends the rest of his life passing through hell.
Say goodbye to grandma one last time
1818—Illinois becomes a state and immediately starts illannoying its neighbors.
The thing about Diarrhea Planet is, no matter how good their recordings sound, they will always be a better live band. That is just a fact. And it’s not to take anything away from their studio work or their newest EP, Aliens in the Outfield. Diarrhea Planet are simply a band you need to see live in order to fully appreciate and understand them.
The newest hot trend among late-teens and 20-somethings might come as a shock to some of you. In an unexplained habitual shift, more and more individuals are shutting their laptop screens to engage in what experts are calling “sex,” or, more technically, “sexual intercourse.”
1439—Plymouth, England becomes the first place adopted by the English Parliament. They promptly decide to revolt.
Let’s face it: These days kids just can’t wait until Christ Claus comes down the chimney on Dec. 25 to get their fix of toys, candies, spankings and good cheer. About nine Black Fridays ago, it became clear there had been a shift from a preference for Christmas and Hanukkah to Thanksgiving gifts. Whines have been heard from the children of this great nation and now parents are scrambling to find the best ways to burn money on their wittle sweetie weeties.
It probably makes sense to preface this by admitting my bias toward the Beatles, especially Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which I think is their greatest accomplishment as a group, the best pop hybrid album of all time and one of the most important pieces of music ever created. But these statements, though facially grand and pretentious, are commonplace when referring to the Beatles because, well, they were just that important. As a hardcore Sgt. Pepper’s fan, I had high expectations for the Flaming Lips’ song-by-song, full-album collaboration almost-cleverly named With a Little Help from My Fwends.
As we all know, the annual gravity savings came into effect over the weekend. All over the world, people are adjusting to the remarkably different way of life that comes with a significant change in the force that holds us all to Earth. Right here in Madison, things have been completely turned upside down by this odd natural phenomenon.
With flu and general sickness season upon us, it is imperative we all take extra steps to protect ourselves from contracting some kind of unwanted illness. While sanitation and exercise can help out, nothing staves off those little bugs crawling beneath your skin better than a healthy diet. So here you go Almaniacs, take these little tips from our health gurus and see yourself blossom during this cold, dark and depressing winter ahead.
Everyone says dog is man’s best friend. But who says there can’t be other avenues for us to receive great pleasure from another being by only putting in effort when we feel like it?
70 B.C.—Roman poet Virgil is born. His parents really didn’t think that name through.