Everyone says dog is man’s best friend. But who says there can’t be other avenues for us to receive great pleasure from another being by only putting in effort when we feel like it?
Dick Cheney
Former Veep and crimelord Duck Dynasty Cheney would look right at home snuggled up next to the television, chewing a slobbery rawhide bone upright between his paws. Just lay down some newspaper so he can go wee-wee.
Pikachu
Woah! Can you imagine how great it would be to have one of these around the house? Your electronics will always be charged when this cool mouse is hanging out.
Worms!
Worms! Worms! Worms! They’re the hottest new pet trend among 20-somethings. You NEED to get in on this before they go totally mainstream.
Civil War Deserter
One of the rarest pets of them all, having a Civil War deserter gnawing hardtack in the corner will let people know your social standing.
Pet Rock
The pet rock was a major fad of the mid-seventies. Pick one up and you might finally have something to talk about with your parents.
Student Athlete
Everyone needs a home away from home. This includes the Athenians who traversed dangerous Atlantic waters to become champions in Bucky’s image.
Black Mold
All it takes for black mold to flourish is an over-moist bathroom and extreme neglect. Many of you might already have black mold living in your apartment!
Djinn
Here’s one for the more experienced pet owner. These unwieldy demon-like creatures can be a lot to handle, but add some spice to the day.
