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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Thursday, April 18, 2024
Papplia

We're changing the way you interact with their smartphone. 

Please download my app: An Almanad for the new smartphone app Papplia

Take out your smartphone and download my app. Trust me when I say it will be the best decision you make today.

The app is called Papplia and it’s changing the way we interact with our smartphones. You see, most apps provide users only temporary engagement. Whether it’s a game, a service or just something random, all apps eventually lose their novelty. Or they are only useful for a short time, like when you’re ordering a pizza.

But what if there were an app that could be used all the time? That app is Papplia. That $0.99 to download my app, which, by the way, you should do right now, goes a long way my friends.

If by this point you haven’t already downloaded Papplia, you might as well stop reading. Papplia isn’t for the faint of heart, for the adventures you will encounter with this app are endless in both number and intrigue. This is my last warning: Before continuing, now is the time to purchase Papplia.

So you’re probably wondering what exactly Papplia does. To tell you the truth, it does a lot of things. The main function, however, is to make your smartphone excrete a noise that sounds sort of like someone saying “Pap,” in a soft, coy voice, at random intervals ranging from 30 minutes to 12 hours.

Papplia completes its function regardless of considerations such as whether you’re sleeping or if your phone’s on vibrate. It will always say the word “Pap” in the same voice, at the same volume. The only way to make it stop is by turning your phone all the way off and placing it in a patented Papplia sleep tent, which can be purchased from the Papplia app store for $69.99.

Papplia can only be removed from your smartphone device by either purchasing a new smartphone (something we all love) or by paying a $99.97 removal surcharge. Because of this, you may feel emotions such as anger, frustration and rage. This is totally normal. And in fact, this is just part of the Papplia experience.

The Papplia brand is truly trying to break the mold when it comes to how we interact with apps. In fact, don’t think of Papplia as just a brand; think of Papplia as a way of life. You will become who you have always wanted to be if you just let a little Papplia into your life.

Papplia: The Always App. Moving Forward, Always...

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