News flash: You are hella boring
Who would you want to play you if your life was a movie?
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Who would you want to play you if your life was a movie?
I am currently sitting in my bedroom, staring out the window wondering a few things. First, why is there no snow on the ground? I want a white fluffy winter wonderland, not that unappealingly grey stage between autumn colors and wintery awesomeness. Second, why is it dark at 4:45 p.m.? I don’t know why this surprises me so much every year, but I also don’t know why daylight saving time can’t be a permanent change. And third, can I get out of this last week of school if I jump out the window and break my legs?
Well people, it’s official. I’m studying in Budapest, Hungary next semester. I know, I know —you’ve all been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting anxiously for weeks to hear what my decision was going to be.
Well people, it’s officially December. I’ve recently developed a love/hate relationship with this month, and I can’t decide if I should be excited or not. We college students get to spend the bulk of it furiously studying for finals and catching up on a semester’s worth of work we really shouldn’t have gotten behind in. But when that’s all over, we’re rewarded with a trip home, CHRISTMAS and a solid month of break.
One Saturday afternoon this past summer, I grew bored with my routine of typically thrilling activities, namely watching Food Network and playing solitaire. Thus, I needed to think of something even more awesome to do. Luckily, I found just the thing lying around my house: magnets. Holy hell are they fun to play with or what?
I am going to start this off with a confession: I, Elliot Jack Morris, have never in my life been to either the SERF or the Nat. I walk past the SERF ever day with a feeling of guilt that I’m trashing my body internally by rarely demonstrating any physical exertion. Still, however soul-crushing this feeling is, it’s never quite enough to actually get my ass to the gym like my arteries crave so desperately.
Gov. Jim Doyle announced a re-evaluation of the state budget shortfall Tuesday, projecting a deficit of $5 billion within the next 2 years.
I wish I was born 60 years ago. It's just that... I'm a little indifferent toward the present. I have a hard time seeing what's special about it. How will people remember the 2000s? Sure, there's the war and the horrible economy, but hopefully those aren't the only things people remember. But what else do we have to show?
I'm the kind of guy who likes to have a plan. Life is comfy when you're able to settle into a rhythm. More order means fewer surprises, and I like that. I have for as long as I can remember.
I hate work. I'm a lazy, worthless sack of crap, especially when I haven't had my morning cup of frosting. Just the thought of homework some nights is enough to make me consider dropping out and getting a job at McDonald's, so I wouldn't have to put in the mental and emotional investment required to actually learn shit.
State Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend, recently announced plans to introduce a bill that would eliminate the current state requirement for political contributors to disclose their employer information.
I rolled out of bed this morning. Quietly, of course, as not to disturb the roomie. I stepped on something hard and cold and looked down. Great, I'm sure 150 pounds is just awesome for laptops. I took one more step, stubbed my toe on my desk and waited a few seconds in anticipation of the pain I knew was coming. Fuck me. I fumbled around for my glasses and knocked a book off my desk, which managed to fall both on my laptop I just stepped on and the tender little piggy I just stubbed. And to top it off, it woke the roommate up. Within merely one minute of being conscious I knew my day was going to be super fun.
Hipsters. I vote them the second most interesting creatures to ever walk this planet. The first is without a doubt the three-toed sloth, but that's another story. Hipsters are the absolute pinnacle of people-watching, and I'm so glad they have graced us with their presence over the past five years.
Maddie and I have been together for 10 years now, and I have to say it's going pretty well. She's been my bestie for as long as I can remember. Lately though, I find myself staring into the depths of her canine soul as she stares back into mine, and I feel a uniquely personal connection, as if we are somehow meant to be together.
The Student Services Finance Committee held the first of two town hall meetings Monday to solicit student feedback on Associated Students of Madison funding streams.
The Madison Mallards introduced a $1.3 million project to complete major renovations to their minor league baseball stadium at Warner Park.
According to a report by the University Committee, UW-Madison researcher Michele Basso's right to due process was violated when her primate research lab was temporarily shut down last year.
Despite sophomore Danny Ahlering's first goal of the year, the Wisconsin men's soccer team extended their winless streak to nine matches, falling 2-1 to Northern Illinois Wednesday night at the McClimon Complex.
Columnist's note: Yes it's almost March Madness, yes the column name has changed but somehow it's about hockey. Well here's the thing, the Dance has been analyzed and overanalyzed with most points of view being taken. This column could throw out something outlandish with the hope it would grab attention or move over already traveled ground and get lost in the noise. Instead, it's about hockey. Enjoy the column and the most wonderful two days of the sports year.