Maddie and I have been together for 10 years now, and I have to say it's going pretty well. She's been my bestie for as long as I can remember. Lately though, I find myself staring into the depths of her canine soul as she stares back into mine, and I feel a uniquely personal connection, as if we are somehow meant to be together.
On a daily basis, I catch myself doing things I wouldn't normally do. It started about a year ago when I saw a squirrel, and my heart rate suddenly jumped. I was alone, and something inside me forced me to chase after it for a few seconds while shouting some fairly rude things to it.
These strange happenings became startlingly more frequent. Last summer, I came home from work a bit hungry. Without thinking, I went to the fridge and grabbed the piece of skirt steak my dad was planning on making for dinner. About halfway into the steak, I paused. I found my hands grasping a partially eaten piece of raw cow muscle, and I was gnawing on a protruding bone. My face was covered in blood, and it felt oddly great.
Something inside me was changing, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Instead of making decisions based on reason and logic, I began acting on pure animal instinct. Just last week, I was talking to a friend on the phone and she made me stop. She told me that for the past minute I had made the full transition from what I wanted to do with my life to how much I was craving a Beggin' Strip.
But what really has me floored is my dog's recent behavior. I walked into my kitchen last winter break and found Maddie standing on the table with the remote near her paw watching TV.
A couple of weeks later, I saw my car pull into the driveway. Maddie opened the car door and turned off the car as well as the dubstep she was enjoying.
""Hmm, that's odd,"" I thought. ""I always saw her as more of a classic rock fan.""
Finally, during spring break I lost my phone. I looked all over my house for it and finally found it on my back porch. My innocent, little terrier was sitting on a chair with her legs crossed playing Angry Birds and texting my friends.
I knew something was a little off, but I just couldn't tell exactly what it was. It was quite astounding, but the only way I can explain it is our souls are slowly merging. I feel like part of myself is leaving my being and part of Maddie is manifesting inside me.
Creepy, I know, but I'm not going to fight what's natural. It just means we're meant to be together, and I'm okay with that cause she's a foxy little lady. You can't mess with nature's will, as my father once said... maybe.
So what did I learn from all of this? First, chewing on raw steak bones is surprisingly satisfying. Second, my dog should be able to do calculus pretty soon. Third, Maddie is my soul mate and we're going to get married this winter.
If you call me crazy, I will bite you and snarl menacingly.
Have your own metamorpheses to share? Feel free to email them to Elliot Morris at ejmorris2@wisc.edu.
