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This semester, UW junior and semi-professional slacker Frank Booti is going all the way, renouncing all forms of schoolwork and committing to keeping his books shut for the full six weeks before final exams. Booti hopes to gain notoriety as UW’s premier non-doer of things.
Brandon Dunbar, recluse from northern Wisconsin and expert live action role player, was found guilty of murdering Lacie Pinkerton early Sunday morning, resulting in his sneak points decreasing from 98 to 93.
Hipster artist Luke Johnson renounced the physical realm late Monday evening, resulting in a massive plummet in sales for the offbeat painter in large part due to his signature blank paintings.
A glimpse of UW-Madison’s toilet paper atrocity. It is plentiful in supply, but low in number of plies.
Now that November—also known as hemorrhoids awareness month—has begun, thousands of UW-Madison students took to the streets in protest of rigid policy stocking university buildings with one-ply toilet paper.
Just as chameleons are able to blend in with their habitat to hide from predators, local man Jason Bower has developed the ability to be fully camouflaged in any environment.
Bernie Sanders tops a list of shocking and controversial costume ideas for Halloween 2015, beating out Sexy Hillary, Sexy Caitlyn Jenner and Sexy European Refugee for the top spot among college students.
A confused ghost rose from his ethereal resting place as the clock struck midnight to voice his opinion on the insensitive portrayal of ghosts during this time of the year.
Mostly due to increased policing, Freakfest has become rather subdued and almost exclusively stab-free in recent years. As a result, local man Darrell Fingus has vowed to skip the annual event until he feels that his once-sufficient chances of being stabbed have been restored.
This Wednesday, Matt Johnson of Madison proved the effectiveness of his catcalls when courting women. Johnson spent his afternoon meowing on State Street attempting to attract a female using his courting prowess; after just a few hours, one woman accepted his advances.
The Board of Regents’ sixth-annual bake sale was a smash hit last weekend. Drawing off the energetic homecoming crowds, the Regents were able to sell over $200 worth of brownies, cookies, bars and other delicious treats.