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A Cardinalista bids you adieu
Warning: What you are about to read is the cheesiest thing you will ever encounter in the state of Wisconsin. This is the last column—the last anything—I will write for The Daily Cardinal, and if you think it will be anything other than a sappy, emotional breakdown, you might be dumber than our governor. Also, if you could sing Vitamin C’s “Graduation (Friends Forever)” to yourself whilst reading this, that would be tremendous. Thanks!
Still not 'crazy' about running
For those of you who read my column on a weekly basis (and I thank all three of you kindly), you may recall my voicing a passionate disdain for physical activity. To directly quote my eloquent self, “Exercising sucks balls. Jogging is for masochists and people who hate themselves.” I am unsure of what this says about me—whether I suffer from self-esteem issues or have simply undergone a change of heart—but this weekend I took part in Madison’s annual Crazylegs Classic.
Cohorts in pecking: a story of friendship
And so the countdown begins. In less than one month, I will graduate from my beloved University of Wisconsin-Madison. This reality has lead to a comprehensive slew of emotions, among them being displeasure with life’s general fleetingness. I have found the best way to deal with these circumstances is to live in the moment as best I can and focus on why I have loved UW so much: the people. Please allow me to tell you about one in particular.
Longing for my fears of the ’90s
Over the weekend, the editorial staff of this fine publication did something it is known to do: party. We Cardinalistas live by two codes. The first you will find printed at the bottom of each edition’s front page (I'll wait while you check the PDF). The second is one inscribed within our hearts, a mantra we were all born believing: Work hard, play hard.
Play ball!: A Chicago Cubs fan in Wisconsin
“Do they still play the blues in Chicago / When baseball season rolls around? / When the snow melts away / Do the Cubbies still play / In their ivy-covered burial ground? / When I was a boy they were my pride and joy / But now they only bring fatigue / To the home of the brave / The land of the free / And the doormat of the National League.”
Now is the time for pipe dreams
It is an unjust world we live in. Kate Upton stumbled upon huge success because she was seen doing the Dougie at a Los Angeles Clippers game, but my college degree cannot currently guarantee I am free from the world of “Would you like fries with that?” Well played, universe. Well played.
Champaign: where class goes to die
Over the past four years, I have made an annual pilgrimage to Champaign, Ill. It is not exactly my favorite place on the planet: I prefer cities where trees outnumber gas stations. Still, one of my best friends from high school, Kelsey, is a student there, so I happily make the trek down once every 365 days.
Jacqueline is ‘Homeward Bound’
I have the immense pleasure of heading home this upcoming weekend, and there are a number of things I am looking forward to. Of course, it is always great to see friends and family. My favorite home-cooked meal of chicken with pasta, broccoli and butternut squash is sure to be on the table, and I have scheduled a haircut with someone who actually knows what do with the quaff atop my head. But more than anything, I absolutely cannot wait to see my dog.
Jacqueline's Workout Plan
I started my senior year with two goals I hoped to accomplish by the end of the 30 weeks: graduate and return to the weight I first walked through Witte’s doors at. Like most college students, I have gained some poundage over the years, approximately 10 pounds. And while I have enjoyed every last bottle of Spotted Cow and every single loaf of spicy cheesy bread, I felt my final year of college was the time to make a change, if in no other form than light beer.
Single gal seeks Catholic dude
Welp, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and for the first time in two years I will be celebrating the holiday alone. But for the love of Cupid do not pity me. If I am being honest, I have never really cared for the holiday, regardless of what my Facebook relationship status listed me as. It is all a bit too hokey, and on a day when all things are expected to be over the top, no relationship can live up to the epic "Boy Meets World" romances I longed for as a preteen.
Letter: Tech leads to victim blaming
A problem is much harder, if not impossible, to solve if the core of the issue is misunderstood. This holds true in all areas of life, but specifically the issue at hand this Stalking Awareness Month.
That’s a deal breaker, Badgers!
Here we are friends, a week into the semester. With syllabi distributed and actual assignments looming, we have now remembered that no class is as exciting as shopping for it in the Student Center was.
Pittling habits of my roomie
I want to tell you about my roommate. For those three of you who read my column on a regular basis, you know she, Claire, functions as a constant source of amusement. Yes, she most definitely has a sparkling sense of humor, but a sizeable chunk of this entertainment is of the accidental variety, which is to say Claire makes a fool of herself quite often.
All I want for Christmas is...
My mom, like every mom ever, enjoys the music of Amy Grant. I am no music snob, but I do draw a line here. Still, moms will be moms, and every December like clockwork Amy Grant’s Home for Christmas finds its way into our stereo.
Heavenly ways to handle hell
Here we find ourselves, Badgers: the worst few weeks of the semester. The giant clit (yes, clit) tease that is Thanksgiving Break is regrettably behind us, and in its place has come a slew of term papers, exams and projects professors tossed onto the syllabus at the last minute, because hey, why the hell not? The TA is the one who has to suffer through grading my under-researched paper on the Cold War anyway.
Thankful for my crazy family
My family is full of characters. This fact is nothing new to me, but Thanksgiving break worked to make sure I never forget this reality.
PAVE Column: On gameday, stay classy Madison
The scandal exposed at Penn State University earlier this month is nothing short of devastating. Weeks after its initial surfacing, it is still a highly discussed issue on campus, especially with this Saturday’s upcoming matchup.
Hatin' on my boobaliciousness
They came in when I was 10, but it took until I was 21 for someone to explicitly not appreciate my breasts.
Letter: Penn State should remind of tragedies on our campus