Here we are friends, a week into the semester. With syllabi distributed and actual assignments looming, we have now remembered that no class is as exciting as shopping for it in the Student Center was.
As such, we find ourselves reevaluating our enrollment decisions. Sure, my seminar on conflict resolution sounds interesting, but interesting enough to be worth writing a 20-page paper? Yes, the ethics of civic engagement are sure to spark fiery debates in discussion, but will I even do the weekly 200 pages of reading necessary to contribute? And most importantly, is this professor going to be any good?
Welp, as a second semester senior struggling to find academic motivation, I may not be qualified to help you determine what level of work you are or are not willing to do for a class. That said, I can suggest a variety of measures useful in determining whether a professor is worth his or her weight in tuition dollars. Taking a cue from my main gal Liz Lemon, I present a series of deal breakers. If your professor does any of the following, that's a deal breaker, Badgers!
If your professor cannot spell, that's a deal breaker, Badgers.
For professors to truly be effective, they have to command a significant level of respect, and there is perhaps no simpler way for a professor to lose the respect of his students than by making basic spelling errors. As someone who comes from a language-based major, a professor who puts the "i" before the "e" when it is not, in fact, after "c" is a blasphemer in my book. I even had a professor who once spelled Obama with an apostrophe: O'Bama. While my Irish pride appreciated the sentiment, the grammar nerd within me shriveled up and died.
If your professor does not use PowerPoint, that's a deal breaker, Badgers.
There are two reasons a professor would not use PowerPoint: He is either technologically dense or believes his words alone are so magnificent they eliminate the need for a comprehensible teaching method. So basically, he is an idiot or he is an arrogant fool. Those are two highly unfortunate sides of the coin. Move on to a professor who is more aware of basic software and/or is not an ass.
If your professor does not allow laptops in class, that's a deal breaker, Badgers.
This professor refuses to get with the times. In fairness to him, he is correct: You will spend the 75-minute lecture looking at Facebook photos that girl from your high school just posted of her baby. Or maybe you are like me, a stressed senior who is constantly job hunting online. And if you really do not care what the person behind you thinks of you, perhaps you will just browse PerezHilton.com the whole time.
Regardless of which of the above categories you fall under, you know how to best educate yourself, i.e. if your best notes are taken on your laptop, you should get to take them there. You are an adult, for crying out loud! Be sure to tell this professor to get a clue on your way out the door.
If your professor did not move your final to the last day of class even though it was scheduled for the last day of exams week, that's a deal breaker, Badgers.
This professor is a sadist, and best be avoided at all costs.
While it is a hard reality to remember in this blistery Wisconsin winter, it will get warm again. And when it gets warm again, there will be things to do, namely beer drinking on the terrace. That this professor wants to keep you cooped up in College Library until the last possible moment is satanic at best. Recognize that you prioritize those tri-colored chairs over any textbook, and drop that class like it's hot.
If your class was assigned to Science 180 and your professor did not try to find a new room, that's a deal breaker, Badgers.
This professor has it in for your tailbone. Perhaps he is trying to pad his wonky creationist belief system by disregarding a bone that so clearly points to evolution, his rational foe. Maybe he has never sat in those chairs and realized the havoc they wreak for your rump. I had a dull professor who kept us in Science 180 knowing the chairs were dreadfully uncomfortable and thus impossible to fall asleep in.
Whatever the reasoning, Science 180 is a vacuum for booty support and thoughtful learning alike. Avoid it as ardently as you would the lousy professor who landed you there.
Unsure of whether your professor makes the cut? Email your questions to Jacqueline at jgoreilly@wisc.edu.
