Humans are the most profound pieces of literature
Use the fields below to perform an advanced search of The Daily Cardinal' archives. This will return articles, images, and multimedia relevant to your query. You can also try a Basic search
399 items found for your search. If no results were found please broaden your search.
The Swedish Academy has named all content contributors to the Facebook Page “UW-Madison Memes for Milk-Chugging Teens” the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize for Literature. The Facebook page is an avenue for members of the UW-Madison community to post memes about current events and other matters related to campus, and the decision to award all its content contributors the prize marks the first time in academy history that so many people have been awarded the prize in the same year.
This past week controversy surrounded the singer Lizzo after her DNA test was leaked to the press, revealing that she is only 98.63 percent That Bitch (results showed that her remaining genetic makeup is 1.29 percent Vegan and 0.08 percent Ashkenazi). In her song “Truth Hurts,” Lizzo claims that she ‘took a DNA test’ and it turned out that she was ‘100 percent That Bitch,’ however, this claim appears to be exaggerated following the news of the leaked test results.
Dumb baby wearing "I will change the world" t-shirt accused of not knowing anything about poverty, climate change or humankind's inherent evil
An unsuspecting Facebook-user faces much controversy following a post of her baby boy wearing an “I will change the world” t-shirt.
There’s seasons all around us as the leaves turn pretty colours
Late last week the news no one wanted came out. Bucky Badger is, in fact, a furry. During a recent interview with the Big Ten Network, Badger decided to come out. “At one point the line between mascot and furry became muddled. I realized that this wasn’t just a shitty hobby I picked up so I could get attention from drunk students at football games, but that Bucky Badger was my fursona”.
On Wednesday, an anonymous report leaked to the press exposed President Donald Trump as a war criminal.
Metro Transit’s beloved Route 80 is a service that many have proved they do not deserve. Though sometimes used routinely, it seems that certain individuals still haven’t figured out how to properly act when aboard this godly, paradisiacal vehicle. In the effort to eliminate some of the worst behavioral problems that sour the transit experience for others, here is a short etiquette handbook that all 80-riders should follow:
A recent study from the UW-Madison School of Ecology found that teen pregnancy rates among males have been stagnant for years. The team led by Professor Dr. Jones have compiled data trends from the last 10 years of incoming freshman.
Smartass wants everyone to know he's confused why The Daily Cardinal is only published once per week
This past Tuesday, Abraham Hodge, a student at UW-Madison, was walking into Memorial Union when he caught a glimpse of a copy of The Daily Cardinal, the most awesome student-run newspaper. Realizing that The Daily Cardinal was both totally tubular and exquisite, Hodge obviously decided to pick up a copy and have a read, as he does every week when each print issue is published.
Dear Beauty, so often so judgemental on the outskirts of am I enough? do I focus on your definition or what society has defined you as or better yet my definition of you yourself and I am reminded of chiseled lines and opposite parentheticals not of my own appearance but of who I have defined as enough not because you said so but because i’ve ignored your message of free defining of free will to be your name and in retrospect my definition has created a push for my own aesthetic for my own existence and worth allowing judgement free judgement leaving a contradicting love for you and of me for your definition never used a limit and here I have because ease is a better pain than acceptance and i’d rather hold what is filled in my sack than to confront your truth to reframe my mind to know what I knew before and to repeat your name in the remembrance of my great grandmother before me and how you both whispered to my mother’s womb there is no such thing as enough
“In my book, loyalty is a two-way street,” “My cheating ex-husband has more integrity,” and “Capitalism must die!” are just a few of the remarks from frustrated members of a well-known chain coffee shop’s loyalty program.
Der Rathskeller, the popular dining area located in the University of Wisconsin’s Memorial Union, is currently facing a troublesome lawsuit according to media reports from late Tuesday night. The impending suit was filed by Gerrard C. Allenson, a professor of rhinoceros anatomy at Marquette University, and pertains to what has been described as an incident of “poor pickle placement.”
The juxtaposition between man and nature catches the eye of passersby time and time again. A line of birds perched upon a phone line or vines crawling up the side of a building … Oftentimes, the sight alone destroys the self-respect of many. Within milliseconds, the feeling of remorse or embarrassment at the thought of human history and being a member of Earth’s dominant species takes away any hope of feeling content ever again.
This past Saturday night Rebecca Gonzalez-Smith, a first-year student at UW-Madison, was preparing to go out for the night. Nearly one week after she moved into her dorm room in Sellery Hall, and on the night after the first home football game, Rebecca was eager to go out with her new friends and experience the weekend scene. Yelling loudly and traveling in a pack of at least twelve other people, Rebecca and her friends made their way over to Langdon St where they were permitted entrance into a fraternity house.
What started out as a story detailing the opening of a nearby coffee shop turned into a profound discovery: a self-proclaimed coffee drinker who is “only in the game” for the prestige and caramel drizzle.
As the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s sororities see if their pledge class of 2019 fantasy drafts will become a reality, those who have already dropped formal recruitment are finally able to voice their pressing questions and criticism from the sidelines.
Incoming freshman blissfully unsure all her hopes for upcoming year to be ruthlessly crushed by inevitable
18-year-old Jillian Rollins has high expectations for her first year at UW-Madison. Although she’s a bit of a home-body, she’s excited to move into her dorm room: “I’m going to decorate my walls with cute little lights, and I’m lofting my bed to make space for a futon,” she told us. When asked if she was worried about having to share a bathroom with 30 other girls she told me she was “sure it will be fine.” Little does she know that later this semester she’s going to wake up at 2:00 a.m. to pee and ram her head on the ceiling for the third time that week only to find that literally every single toilet is already full of shit upon arriving to the little girls’ room. And there’s no chance she’s going to get anything to stick to the walls in Sellery.
Returning students hope renovations to Regent Street McDonald’s included functioning ice cream machine
As summer draws to a close, students look forward to all that comes with the fall at UW-Madison: reuniting with old friends, starting new classes and jumping around at Camp Randall. But even among the best traditions, it seems that Badgers are yearning for something a bit more out of this semester. Ergo, a certain ice cream machine at 1102 Regent Street will be put to the ultimate test.