Originally, Paramount Pictures wanted Ashton Kutcher to star in writer/director Cameron Crowe's latest, \Elizabethtown."" Crowe conceded and cast him, only to fire him, citing his lack of acting ability (or, as Kutcher's people put it, ""scheduling conflicts"") as the reason for dismissal. However, when Kutcher got the boot, he actually benefited by avoiding being in ""Elizabethtown,"" which represents a rare misstep in Crowe's filmography.
Crowe, whose past films include ""Almost Famous"" and ""Say Anything,"" is known for writing intensely personal films with strong characterizations. ""Elizabethtown"" features neither of the above descriptors, as it follows the story of Orlando Bloom's Drew Baylor.
In the film, Baylor finds out all on the same day he lost his company nearly a billion dollars, he's been fired, his girlfriend dumped him and his father died. The last revelation sends Baylor to Elizabethtown, Ky., to meet up with his family and bury his dad. On the flight to the titular city, Baylor meets up with Kirsten Dunst's perky flight attendant, Claire, who acts as a friend in his time of need. Throughout the film, Crowe gives equal time to the development of the burial storyline and the Claire/Drew relationship.
This does not actually sound like too bad of a plot set up. ""Elizabethtown"" bursts with potential, only to fall under Crowe's lazy pen. Instead of creating someone as unique as ""Say Anything's"" Lloyd Dobler, Crowe fills out his narrative with caricatured characters that have little basis in reality. From the kid who screams at the top of his lungs for no reason, to Kirsten Dunst's Claire, who is just quirky for quirk's sake, these characters feel more at home in a sitcom than a large Hollywood production.
These weak characters are not only the fault of Crowe the writer: Crowe the director also has a large part in making the characters both bland and over-the-top at the same time. Bloom's two modes of acting include ""standing, while trying to look perplexed"" and ""randomly jumping around yelling,"" neither of which equate to a strong performance.
It is entirely possible Crowe knew he could not squeeze blood from a stone and did not try coaxing strong performances out of Bloom and Dunst. However, when an established actress such as Susan Sarandon ends up doing some of the most cringe-worthy ""acting"" of her life, something is definitely not right in Crowe's world. Sarandon's scenes make little sense and require her to act in a bizarre fashion which culminates in an awful climax that makes even less sense than the rest of the film.
Aside from strong performances and characters, a standard Crowe film can expect to have an amazing soundtrack with at least one near-iconic scene set to music. Well, Crowe whiffed on the characters, and he does on the soundtrack as well. He tries using Ryan Adams' ""Come Pick Me Up,"" as his iconic song, much like ""Say Anything's"" ""In Your Eyes"" or ""Almost Famous'"" ""Tiny Dancer.""
Those songs worked in those scenes because they almost became another character, commenting on the scene taking place. While ""Come Pick Me Up"" is an amazing song, it is also a slow, depressing one that should not be laid over visuals of Bloom and Dunst doing jigs of joy as their relationship develops. The link between Adams wailing ""fuck me up"" and ""screw all my friends, they're all full of shit"" really has no place over a happy relationship-building montage.
A Cameron Crowe film can expect to have unique characters, a fun plot, humor, warmth and amazing music. Following that logic, ""Elizabethtown"" is not a Cameron Crowe film. Instead, it feels like a Cameron Crowe nightmare in which none of the old standby tricks end up working correctly.
