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On Monday, news broke that University of California, Los Angeles law school dean Jennifer Mnookin has been named the 30th chancellor of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, replacing Rebecca Blank after nine white-hot years — at least until Bucky and Becky had a falling out, as reported by The Daily Cardinal.
The class of 2022 graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison on Saturday, causing an influx of out-of-state parents on campus.
It’s one of the biggest weekends of the year here at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Not only are finals wrapping up, but the graduating class of 2022 will have its ceremony tomorrow at Camp Randall.
Mother’s Day has come and gone, which means that the vast majority of moms in countries that celebrate the holiday have received some combination of chocolate, flowers, wine, bath robes and, of course, candles.
So, you didn’t fill out your course evaluation survey — you’re safe here.
The majority of Americans were disgusted Monday night when POLITICO published a draft majority opinion that would overturn both 1973’s Roe v. Wade as well as 1992’s Planned Parenthood v. Casey, both of which protect access safe and legal abortions.
It was another successful Mifflin Street Block Party this past Saturday. With an estimated 10,000 people in attendance, 45 arrests and one balcony collapse, this page in the annual party’s 53-year history is one to remember.
As students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, we walk by thousands of people on campus every day. Unfortunately, no matter how dedicated or likable someone may be, it’s impossible to get to know every single face that can be seen huffing their way up Bascom Hill or smiling in a drunken haze while slinking down State Street (who am I kidding, it’s everywhere) at 1 a.m. on a Friday morning.
For once, the Almanac is bringing you real news. I realize that it’s difficult to trust a word you read in this section — if you do, you may be a few curds shy of a ButterBurger basket — but you’re just gonna have to roll with me on this one. Let’s get to the point. As of today, the Almanac is changing its name to “The Beet.”
The New York Times reported on Monday that Elon Musk, the world’s richest man, has purchased Twitter for $44 billion. This puts Musk in the same league as Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, who purchased The Washington Post for a measly $130 million back in 2013.
There are several things that can signal a switch of consciousness in a young child’s life. These events can include divorce, physical and/or verbal bullying and — in the case of Denzin Elementary’s own Ronnie Blusher — being asked by a parent to pack your own lunch.
In 2015, Taco Bell began serving alcohol at its first Cantina location. Now, seven years later, the Burrito Supreme® loving world can rest assured that the debauchery won’t stop there. In a tweet fittingly sent out this morning at 4:20 a.m., the fast food giant announced that it’s cutting out the middleman — locations around the nation will begin selling weed effective immediately.
On April 15, the Florida Department of Education announced that approximately 41% of math textbooks were denied acceptance into next school year’s curriculum. This follows concern that the rejects included aspects of critical race theory such as social-emotional learning, which Republican leaders have been staunchly against from the time they were burning ants alive with a magnifying glass while other children were developing empathy and making friends.
Well, it’s Good Friday again — the one day a year where Catholics and Christians all around the world gather at church to thank God that Jesus was unjustly and brutally crucified (though I’m not sure any form of crucifixion is particularly peachy) at the hands of the Romans.
When Joe Biden was declared the winner of the 2020 presidential election, millions of Americans shared tears of relief or a shrug of acceptance. However, despite becoming president of the United States, voters always knew that there was one thing more important to Biden than helming the executive branch: ice cream.
April 4, 2022 marks the 130th anniversary of The Daily Cardinal. Founded by William Wesley Young in 1892, the paper was created to give students a voice that was both financially and editorially independent of the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
When I joined The Daily Cardinal my first semester at the University of Wisconsin-Madison last spring, I was an associate news writer. Soon enough, I threw out the idea of creating a satire section, at which point I learned that that’s what the Almanac is — I had just assumed it was a calendar or horoscopes or something.
The jokes are made roughly 1,256,928 times per day — “You identify as a man/woman? Then I identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter.” Better yet, “I identify as a cat — treat me accordingly.” Well, Jeff, considering that you were excited to drop a deuce in a public playground’s sandbox after leaving the bar last weekend, I guess that’s only fair.
Millions of girls around the world have been referred to as “tomboys” from the time they were a child. In my case, as well as many others, this is known as “having an older brother” or “liking sports.” Whereas in younger years tomboys are treated as rough-and-tumble little ladies going through a phase, people seem to forget that it’s not always temporary.
On March 12, the University of Wisconsin-Madison suspended its mask mandate. This was to the great relief of those who have diligently followed CDC recommendations since March 2020, as well as those who never wore masks in the first place.
Solutions by The State News
