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(05/02/10 6:00am)
In the heart of Library Mall on a Sunday afternoon, I did what
I've wanted to do for the past four years: get to know the Madison
celebrity commonly known as ""The Piccolo Man."" One hour, a
smoothie, and many words later, I finally did.
(04/18/10 6:00am)
As I approach the day when I'll stand in my blue gown, getting
my B.A. in B.S., with a rolled-up piece of paper in my hand, I
continuously replay the last four years of my life. I laugh, I
smile, I cringe. It's kind of like trying to watch an episode of
""South Park"" in your living room with your parents and your
grandma.
(04/04/10 6:00am)
Four years and 30 flights ago, I boarded my first plane to
Madison. A teary-eyed freshman from New York on the verge of
crapping in my pants, I was particularly unprepared to navigate a
vast college campus in a Midwest town and to immerse myself in some
""serious"" academia.
(03/14/10 6:00am)
Spring Break. The big ol' SB. Could also stand for Sun Burns,
Sexy Bods, or Skimpy Bikinis. And sometimes, to our dismay, (dun
dun dunnn)—Sagging Bums.
(02/28/10 6:00am)
I've joined an online dating website. Yeah, yeah, laugh all you
want. Let me preface this by saying that I joined with my friends
as a joke and strictly for the sake of sensational journalism; we
all wanted to find guys and go on a date together, and I wanted to
write about it in this column.
(02/14/10 6:00am)
Heaven forbid I waited more than 6.2 seconds before diving,
mouth-first, into the Valentine's Day delivery I received. Adorned
with red ribbon and anchored by a sole, heart-shaped balloon, it
was a basket replete with both tropical and Wisconsin delights;
cheese, crackers, sausage, mangos, apples and other fiberlicious,
bowel-inducing assortments. Yes, my parents sent it.
(01/31/10 6:00am)
Several things in life come with a manual— the dishwasher, your
digital camera, the Tamagotchi you had in middle school— but only
in college are the required actions of your own life completely
provided for you, in four pages or less.
(12/13/09 6:00am)
With the year coming to a close, it's only natural that we sit
back and reflect on the past several months. This semester has
proven to be an eventful one, complete with bipolar weather (hot
flashes included), mountains of bullshit-filled essays (what else
is new), and a snowstorm that left more white powder on the ground
than a bathroom full of runway models. Yes, this semester has been
special.
(12/06/09 6:00am)
Of all the stressful activities I experience in a day—writing
last-minute essays, deciding what to do after college/where to do
it/how to do it/if I can do it—one of the greatest stresses occurs
early in the morning. Around 10:15 a.m. after I wake up, take a
good shower, and consider joining the rest of civilized society by
getting dressed, I pick out my underwear.
(11/30/09 6:00am)
Peering into my parents' refrigerator after a semester away at
college was like putting on 3-D glasses and turning off the lights:
Everything looked good.
(11/23/09 6:00am)
The Facts of Life
(11/16/09 6:00am)
As the two big T's—turkey and tests—approach, a sense of chaos
starts to creep into our lives. We come to the realization that (1)
the semester ends in four weeks, (2) most of us haven't read the
readings/gone to class/remember where the class is and (3) we just
WANT A FREAKING BREAK, THAT IS ALL WE ASK, OH MY GOSH COME ON
ALREADY!!!!
(11/09/09 6:00am)
There it sat in the mailroom a month ago: my package. It was the
color of sand, festooned with ""Thinking of you!"" and ""I love
you!"" stickers with the always-cherished emblem ""priority
mail.""
(11/02/09 6:00am)
Congratulations, you survived Halloween!
(10/25/09 6:00am)
I used to sleep with him every night. He was warm, approachable,
soft to the touch. He'd lie across my bed and gaze into my eyes
with a longing usually reserved for a platter of chocolate chip
cookies after dinner. He was my confidante, my companion, my second
self. He was... Boopsie, my stuffed animal.
(10/20/09 6:00am)
""Turn it on,"" he said to me as he reclined on the couch, hands
behind his head.
(10/11/09 6:00am)
Walking out of my apartment, I'm instantly hit with whirls of
leaves, the crisp scent of the air and a cool breeze teeming with
flu particles: yep, it's Fall.
(10/04/09 6:00am)
(09/27/09 6:00am)
""Used.""
(09/21/09 6:00am)
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