All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.
University of Wisconsin-Madison Athletic Director Chris McIntosh spent roughly 90% of his 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. work days sending out job applications, updating his resumé and posting superficial comments on LinkedIn to impress potential future employers, while only spending 2% of his time looking into ways to improve the Badger football team, an investigation by The Beet uncovered.
The Beet used McIntosh’s LinkedIn updates and email messages and hacked a Flock surveillance camera’s video feed to create a timeline of the AD’s work hours this past year.
On a daily basis, he’d spend at least four hours conversing with ChatGPT on how best to get a job with The Big Ten, three hours emailing associates on advice for potential job interviews and one hour a day talking to a private investigator he’d hired to get information on the Big Ten human resources team. Around ten minutes a day he spent talking to Badger football head coach Luke Fickell about the sports betting app Kalshi.
McIntosh, Fickell and Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin declined The Beet’s request for comment. The UW-Madison Public Relations Office, though, did not decline the Cardinal’s request for comment.
“Ask us about McIntosh or Fickell again and you’ll get the Rothman treatment!” The UW-Madison Public Relations Office said in an email to The Beet.
Some UW-Madison students are overjoyed with the thought of McIntosh leaving.
“Honestly, good for him. If Mnookin and Fickell can fail upwards and get rich in the process, McIntosh should be able to too!” said UW-Madison student Sally Murpler.
Other students aren’t so enthusiastic about McIntosh’s departure.
“Without McIntosh, how else will guys like Fickell become millionaires?” said UW-Madison student Frank Chrysslar.
Dominic Violante is The Beet editor for The Daily Cardinal.
