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Thursday, April 23, 2026
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‘He was pregnant the whole time’: Harris reveals shocking Biden secrets in spicy new tell-all

Harris promoted her sensational new book on the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus, drawing crowds and controversy.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.  

Former Vice President Kamala Harris promoted what many are saying is a new tell-all book as shocking as it is scandalous called “107 Days,” documenting her time in the Joe Biden White House and her historic 107-day presidential campaign during a visit to the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus last Sunday.

“A lot of people were saying [Biden] was acting all weird because he was so old and his brain was fried. Nope! He was just pregnant the whole time. He actually refused to tell us who the father was, I don’t even think he knew. I think he was embarrassed by how promiscuous he had been on the campaign trail. I can’t imagine how Jill must’ve felt, probably like Jackie O,” Harris said.

Over the course of her event, Harris highlighted the book's more salacious details, like former Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s infamous tuna salad sandwiches and former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s alleged love affair with Biden’s son, Hunter Biden.

“And whenever Antony would unwrap one of those sandwiches we’d all roll our eyes and pinch our noses. Joe even threw up once cause the smell worsened his morning sickness. But no matter how awful the sandwiches were, nothing was as gross as walking in on Nance and Hunter boinkin’ it in her office, which actually sounded surprisingly similar to Antony’s eating," Harris said.

While Harris had many self proclaimed “K-Heads” celebrating her book tour’s stop in Madison, she also had some critics. During the Q&A portion, one student asked a question about Biden’s dogs and their exclusion from the book, before being escorted out by security.

“Major and Commander were critical figures in the administration and I think we can all agree that they weren’t removed from the White House for biting secret service agents, they were removed for wanting to make their barks heard!” The student allegedly shouted before being forced to leave.

The student appeared to be referring to the Biden family dogs, former Kibble Defense Commander ‘Major’ and former Chief National Security Major ‘Commander’, who also served as and former Biden administration cabinet officials, and their secretive firings which drew criticism from both sides of the aisle in late 2023. The official White House narrative was that they attacked one too many secret service agents, but doubts remain among the public.

“Biden knew they were gonna blow the whistle on his dirty dealings sooner or later. So, just like what the deep-state did to Snowden and Kiriakou, Biden sent them to the kennel,” Dog rights activist Linda Willopen said.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer retweeted a viral clip of the student asking the dog question attached to an AI generated video of himself singing “Who Let the Dogs Out” by Baha Men with the caption “Who let those dogs out?!🤣🐶😉,” swiftly prompting a social media firestorm. He has declined The Beet’s requests for comment.  

Signed copies of “107 Days” left over from the event are on sale at the Badger Market in the UW-Madison Memorial Union for just $89.99. 

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Dominic Violante

Dominic Violante is The Beet editor for The Daily Cardinal.


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