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Tuesday, November 29, 2022
Drake White-Bergey Democratic Party Rally Barack Obama.JPG
Former U.S. President Barack Obama speaking during the Democratic Party rally in Milwaukee on Saturday.

Obama uses Milwaukee rally to test new stand up material, special to stream on Netflix

With only a week left before his poorly-timed taping, Americans are hoping Obama won’t drop yet another bomb.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Former President Barack Obama spoke at a Milwaukee rally in support of Tony Evers and Mandela Barnes on Oct. 30. While the Democratic candidates for Wisconsin Governor and U.S. Senator hoped the two-term president would help energize voters leading up to midterms, Obama did no such thing. Instead, he spent his hour-long window working out bits.

Obama, who has a deal with Netflix, is expected to write and perform a stand up special for the streaming service. However, the timing is questionable for the previous Commander in Chief. The special is being taped on Nov. 8 — Election Day.

Gov. Evers was not privy to the contents of Obama’s speech prior to it occurring, a decision Obama later referred to as a “strategic move” to ensure that “that lanky old school teacher didn’t steal [his] jokes.”

“I’m going to be honest with you — that’s not what I was expecting when I heard Obama agreed to speak today. That being said, he does a pretty good Bush,” remarked Gov. Evers following the event. 

Excluding the impression of his predecessor, Obama stayed far away from politics — especially the current state of the federal government. Still, like a politician, Obama tried to be an everyman. 

Unfortunately, in going for his Seinfeld “What’s the deal with airplane food?” moment, Obama overlooked the fact that being the former President of the United States is easily one of the least relatable things someone could be. 

Notable topics included trying to remember how to drive after being too important to do so for eight years, the time the White House Executive Chef forgot to add “a proper burgundy” when preparing beef bourguignon to be served after a private performance from Beyoncé and the confession that he once vetoed a bill because its sponsor was wearing a cooler suit than him that day, and he didn’t want the senator to be invited on the national news. 

Still, there were some glimmers of the comparatively more fathomable — albeit barely — life the Hawaii native now leads. Specifically, that of a 60-something retiree with the time and means to screw around and see what happens. Paired, of course, with his signature dad banter. 

“For eight years, Michelle struggled with how the presidency took away from our family and marital lives. After I leave office, I’m thinking I’m doing a pretty good job at the whole ‘present partner’ thing — spending more time around the house, leaving cups around so she can think of me and smile, asking how her day is going every hour or so,” explained Obama. 

“Now I’m telling you — three months in, I caught her working the phones trying to get me a job as the ambassador to Syria,” quipped the former head of the Executive Branch.

Though Obama is known for his wisecracking abilities, the comedy world can be harsh when you’re no longer the leader of the free world. With only a week left to hone his material, Americans are hoping that Obama won’t drop yet another bomb.

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