Sex. It’s what you do!
That joke is so two thousand and late, amirite?
But that’s the whole point! No, not that we grew up during a time when jokes were so much easier to make and sixth grade was so much easier to pass.
Instead, we have the idea that sex is something most people will engage in throughout their lifetimes, and that it needs to be celebrated! Woohoo sex-positive sentence!
Everyday on my News Feed, I see people posting about the detriments of hookup culture on college campuses. With constant articles by BuzzFeed.com and EliteDaily.com about hookup culture ruining the prospects of sanity and marriage, one would think the culture is ruining our entire civilization! While many have valid points, I’m here to argue that the pros outweigh the cons.
Before we get started, we have to define hookup culture. Hookup culture is seen as a societal expectation where people engage in sexual activity with partners to whom they have no romantic commitment. Let’s get started!
Pro: It allows us to be honest.
Can you believe people used to lie to have sex? “Sure, I’ll love you forever! Now, let’s get it on!” Because people are empowered to bone whenever they want to, with whomever consents, we no longer have to make promises in order to get it in. When we make people “work for” or “earn” sexual activity, we are turning our bodies and our sexuality into a commodity! Gross!
Fuck-buddy and friends-with-benefits relationships oftentimes have “the talk,” outlining different reasons each person is not interested in a romantic, long-term situation with that specific person. “The talk” helps people who want to get laid without commitment make their objectives clear. Mature people always engage in “the talk.”
We can also be honest about what we like and what we are excited to try without any pressure. If our partner is judgmental, so what? We never have to see them again.
Con: We are too optimistic.
Sometimes during “the talk,” people say what they want their partners to hear. We tend to match the language of our partners, maybe agreeing to wanting things because the person we’re with wants them. Trouble, trouble, trouble.
In many situations, the person agreeing halfheartedly wants a more romantic situation than they’ve been presented with. They believe their R-rated relationship will go through a “natural progression” from doing it to dating. And sometimes, it happens!
However, be wary. When someone says they aren’t interested in a relationship, they usually mean it. There are tons of reasons a person may want to avoid romance and feelings and love and happiness, and although their excuses may not make sense to us, they don’t have to. Consent and permission go beyond fornication, and just like when from boinking to beauing, we want to be with someone who wants to be with us too.
Pro: It destigmatizes sexuality.
In the world we live in, having sex with people we don’t know is super acceptable. And that fucking rocks! People used to be shamed for doing what they wanted with their bodies, but no longer! Long live la revolution!
Con: America has conservative ideals.
Some people still judge others based on their fun activities. What goofballs! They’re just jealous of how uninhibited and fun people can be.
Although we have the right to believe what we want and disagree with the actions of others, it is never our job to tell other people how to live their lives. If we find ourselves becoming critical of how our friends spend their time behind closed doors, maybe we should ask ourselves why. Are we subscribing to outdated morals? Are we jealous? We should take a second to think before behaving in ways that may harm others.
Moral of the story: Stop. Judging. If we are not into hookup culture, we don’t have to engage in it.
Speaking of which...
Pro: We have the power to engage or not engage.
You can either buy into hookup culture or you won’t have any fun and won’t find a partner and won’t find friends.
Oh wait! That’s ridiculous! We can totally divert from a culture with which we’re uncomfortable! By, like, not having sex with people we don’t want to. And also like, not hooking up. If we want a relationship, we should find other people in the same boat instead of goading people uninterested in dating us to do so.
Con: People are stupid.
News anchors, bloggers, vloggers and “citizen journalists” aka angry ex-girlfriends often denounce hookup culture. People often declare they are “forced” into it in order to enjoy college. Unless we’re sexually assaulted, which is an atrocious crime and NOT a given in hookup culture, we haven’t been forced into anything.
Pro/Con: There are less options.
The kind of people who want to hook up all the time don’t necessarily want to date people right now. Maybe they’ll change their tunes when the right person comes along, but for now, we should focus on finding people who are interested in the same kind of relationship we’re looking for.
Luckily, if we choose to abstain from hookup culture, we’ll know our options are more likely to look for the same things we are. Win-win!
Inflamed by Alex’s opinions? What about her non sequiturs? Email sex@dailycardinal.com to get the answers you deserve.
