Aug. 26, 2013, the day after the MTV Video Music Awards, CNN.com decided to have a story about Miley Cyrus’ twerking over the outcry in Syria. Sept. 1, 2013, the day after the final roster cuts in the NFL, ESPN’s “First Take” decided to start its show about the cut of embattled quarterback Tim Tebow. Every day of the week, Buzzfeed.com runs articles about Zac Efron’s abs.
So who cares? Well apparently everybody and nobody. You see, whenever one of these “news” organizations talks about any of these things, there’s a huge public backlash of choosing to cover these topics over seemingly more important ones.
However, there has to be a reason they continue to run them or else they would stop. Right? I mean, television networks and websites make money by views, hits and the prospect of advertising. Obviously someone is clicking on these articles and wanting to hear about Tebow, so that they keep running these segments.
(But why the fuck do I not know anyone who cares? Why is it anytime Tebow is even brought up, people just freak out?) Why is CNN reporting on something so cynical and unimportant as a white girl disappointing her father?
I guess this is my second installment of “Welcome to America” (coming to CNN soon), in which we have to talk about the smart minority and the dumb majority.
To prove the point that is coming to me as I write this at midnight (hey, I was busy watching “Sherlock”), let’s look at “Big Bang Theory,” America’s No. 1 TV show. America’s No. 1 TV show... Although I know zero people who watch it.
With 26.5 million viewers of each new episode (and about 10 million every rerun), “Big Bang Theory” is a certified hit even though the jokes are written as if a 10-year-old took an advanced nuclear physics course. However, the great overlord Chuck Lorre has found the perfect setup and formula to continually bring in the trout (I’m assuming trout is the most common fish in the sea, it definitely is the blandest) and even though some of the educated viewing population will call it out for being generally terrible (please kill the laugh track, legitimately most of those laughs were recorded in the 50s and so you’re hearing dead people laugh; it’s time), Lorre and his CBS cronies will continue to rack up the viewers and advertisement dollars.
But that’s a sitcom. CNN is a reputable (well… sort of) news source—ESPN is the leader in sports news-—and Buzzfeed has made more sorority girls say “lol” than there are Swedish people in Minnesota (that’s an expression… right?).
Why would CNN choose to put the VMAs over Syria as a headline? (There are a lot of questions in this article and for that, I’m sorry… or am I?).
The answer to that should be simple, because people care. And people caring means hits, and hits means advertising dollars. What’s a bigger question is why do we need to tell them that we don’t care about this article?
Literally every top comment on Buzzfeed is “I don’t care about this.” (Seriously though, if I read another article entitled ‘[Random number] things [enter religion here] girls love’ that is just “Supernatural” GIFs and frozen yogurt jokes I think I will freak.) If you don’t care, why do you feel the need to comment, and moreover, why do you continue reading/watching?
Just stop. Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith aren’t getting smarter or less yelly, CNN isn’t at the same standards as it once was, and Buzzfeed knows its reader base is the same people who search the web for the right cat GIF to post on their Tumblr about Sailor Moon.
These organizations are news-setters, topic-starters and water-cooler conversation creators. What they decide to report on is important whether you care or not. That’s why I watched “Jersey Shore” for three seasons and that’s why you’re going to write a comment about how much you don’t care about what I just wrote about.
Who am I kidding, no one comments on Daily Cardinal articles.
Will you break Michael’s comment-free streak? Email him at mvoloshin@wisc.edu to make his day!
