Daily Cardinal office in dire straits after losing communal napkin
By Mackenzie Moore | Dec. 9, 2022The loss of the napkin — believed to be circa 1987 — is perhaps the biggest issue the 130-year-old newspaper has ever faced.
The loss of the napkin — believed to be circa 1987 — is perhaps the biggest issue the 130-year-old newspaper has ever faced.
The transition to a new editor may result in a bit of an awkward phase, but have no fear — as long as people still have thoughts and feelings, The Beet isn’t going anywhere.
“I want to clarify that I did not enjoy eating this bowl of cat feces, but I did eat it in its entirety because that is the respectful thing to do,” the critic concluded.
The troublesome glitch could potentially be attributed to the fact that the app is run by literal zoo animals.
"What you misunderstand is that I'm really stupid."
Eckhardt, who is rumored to also be a professor, is known for hits such as “Important message from Professor Eckhardt,” “Important followup from Professor Eckhardt” and the highly touted “A quick followup from Professor Eckhardt.”
In the wake of purchasing Twitter, the eccentric billionaire opens up about his philosophy as CEO.
Trump makes the surprising announcement that he’ll be running for president again — this time as part of the Green Party.
With the 2021 National Coach of the Year in the dairy state, Wisconsin businesses are rallying to ensure that Fickell will have no choice but to stay long term or be airlifted to a healthier location.
Very real technology ensures that the passenger liner will be unsinkable, says Musk.
Former president anxious about content in White House documents, no longer singing “Cats” soundtrack on toilet.
After years of waiting for worldwide tension to reach its boiling point, it may be time to throw the macaroni in.
The Arizona gubernatorial candidate claims poll workers are letting some babies vote, mistaking them for the elderly.
“The soil … it provides nutrients to the trees. The trees grow apples … during the trip I thought the red M&M and his family were stuck, but anyway —”
“I didn’t even feel that way when Hurricane Sandy hit New York City,” scoffed a perturbed Mitch McConnell.
The fear mongering post has already received over 4,000 shares.
Critics argue that Evers alienated voters who don’t unwind by sipping on a Smirnoff and boofing cocaine.
The increase is directly correlated with rising public uproar over gerrymandering.
The last chance to buy the never-frozen sandwich is Nov. 24.
Madison drug community shocked by dangerous and unexpected candy.