After launching the app anyway, despite various warnings and analyses that predicted imminent and irreversible financial disaster, Rural Infitters offered a promotional reward for their customers.
A Tamagotchi formerly in the possession of sophomore Abe Andon has issued a statement saying it has become self-aware and sworn a personal vendetta on its master. The drama began nearly ten years ago when Andon was in fourth grade.
Ideas are powerful. So powerful, in fact, that they have been the cause of countless ideological movements across the globe. From the rise of fascism in Germany and communism in Russia in the early 20th century, to rise of the alt-right led by figures like Breitbart’s Steve Bannon right here on Main Street in the United States. These movements, as evidenced by both the recent memories of the events in Charlottesville and the distant ones of what our forefathers invaded Europe to stop, can have life-altering consequences. Analyzing the effects that ideas — something that cannot even be seen nor physically touched — can have on society begs the question: where do ideas come from? The answer is simpler than one may think; ideas stem from thoughts, and thoughts from words. Words are just the invention of several cultures across the globe over time. Used in various combinations, they form hundreds of languages for humans to not only interact with one another, but with themselves.
Within the last week, news broke that Equifax, one of the three companies in the U.S. that holds the financial information for every person in the country with credit, had been hacked.
Following the Badgers’ sweeping victory last Saturday, most of the student population could most likely be found in celebration, including junior Econ major and aspiring hipster Hugh Jass.
In breaking news, UW-Madison freshman, Faye Lure has dropped out of classes for the semester, citing the outage of the university’s campus-wide wifi as the cause of her decision.
Tensions have risen in recent days at the Gamma Delta Beta sorority house due to a malfunctioning VCR, and all sources point towards electrical engineering major Tom Bakerstaff as the culprit.
Ancient Greek Mythology states that on the Ides of September, when Hades throws a raging house party in his deathly domain, the kegs of ambrosia would be tapped, the bouncer would charge one gold piece per cup, and the heat would rise as the floor of molten magma filled the chamber with acrid fumes.
Late Tuesday night every student enrolled in Mechanical Engineering 201: Introduction to Mechanical Engineering received an email from their professor with the class syllabus attached.
Early Wednesday morning, Madison resident Holden W. Magroin was released from Dane County Sheriff’s Department after being arrested on Regent Street the previous night and charged with public intoxication as well as public urination.
Monster Energy has found itself under public scrutiny in recent days after a University of Wisconsin study released Friday established a correlation between excessive consumption of the energy drink and immature, verbally belligerent behavior. “Based on the parameters we have noticed,” a leading researcher at the University of Wisconsin said, “it is evident that mere exposure to the Monster Energy brand elicits an adverse reaction in some of the consumers, namely those who expose themselves to the accelerant and then engage in highly stimulating activities, such as video games.” The global sports drink brand, highly recognizable for its role in promoting action sports events like motocross, snowboarding and monster truck derbies, has come under global scrutiny in recent weeks for its links to adverse behavior among several professional video game athletes.
The number of students choosing the pre-med track has skyrocketed this September thanks to ball-busting pressure from parents and the false, fantasized day in a doctor’s life portrayed by Grey’s Anatomy (which was originally an anatomical textbook). However, this influx is misleading; the number of doctors who attended UW-Madison for their undergraduate education has little to no correlation to the number of students who are currently claiming they will be doctors.
The Dane County Sheriff’s Department has declared a regional state of emergency for the neighborhood surrounding a Coca-Cola plant in Middleton after 48 cases of Mentos were found hidden within the manufacturing pipeline.
A buffer before you have to deal with “the real world” ? Three jobs and a full class load ? Vitally important to your future ? Somehow still a privilege not a right ? Easier than it used to be, so stop complaining ? Constructed by people who used to “have it hard” ? Too P.C. ? Not the place to talk about race, sex, or culture ? Pointless if you’re an English major ? Failing to teach people to write ? Pointless if you’re an arts major ? Failing to teach people to creatively solve problems ? Pointless if you’re a philosophy major ? Failing to teach students to think of the big picture ? A place to take risks, don’t be afraid of mistakes ? Hugely important, so don’t screw it up ? An opportunity to network for your career ? An opportunity for employers to get unpaid interns ? A good time to travel ? An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year ? A good time to start saving money ? An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year ? A good time to follow your passions ? An unpaid internship and tuition of at least $10,488 a year ? A place to make new interesting friends ? But don’t fall in with the wrong crowd ? A good time to figure what you want to do with your life ? Only supposed to last four years so hurry up and decide ? A good time to listen ? A good time to learn who, exactly, is worth listening to.
i like the ocean because of its rhythms there’s something about the tide that is comforting.
i want to hollow out the broken shards of myself that lurk behind my skin you scraped the insides of me with your dirty fingernails and then blamed me for bleeding.
My Cleopatra girl, who dies and dies again, with flesh as white as pearls, who under death will always strain. And who am I, your love, clown as fool as the rest, a raven to a dove, who yet is asp upon your breast
the ethereal sounds again as i am crosslegged on the top bunk back leaned against the concrete wall painted white in the fifties, now an ivory cream. there is a bourdon in the back solid, firm, like the cheap mattress on which i am perched, freshman. and above it undulates a great many unplaceable sounds: a woman’s voice (not yours, though faint and trembling like when you first sang for me) not the wind but an echo of the wind and the sound i imagine stars make; and in the room, the sound of lake ice and fever. trying to meditate but really half-asleep never one for it before, but you brought a reality i couldn’t process in my endless processing, the spiraling that leads me wash my hands that leads me count the breaths count the lights in the rooms where i sit and scribble an A test but think only of what it is you’re feeling for him, in love with you and you with me and me with him and you with him and you with death and me with all of it.
The exasperation was palpable across fired FBI director James Comey’s face on Thursday morning as he traipsed through the ordeal of sitting in a government building for reasons other than obtaining a boating license. “To be honest, I’d rather eat radioactive waste by myself than dine with President Trump,” Comey said, clearing his throat into the microphone.
Early Thursday morning a UW-Police officer discovered a SOAR student wandering the halls of the labyrinthine Humanities Building.
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