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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, March 20, 2026
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Students trek to class during a small snow storm

UW to still hold classes amid historic 300 feet of snow, The Beet reveals

Despite enduring the greatest snowfall ever recorded in the nation, Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin will not cancel classes.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

University of Wisconsin-Madison Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin refused to cancel classes Monday, forcing students to attend their lectures by any means possible through 300 feet of snow. The six students seen outside were spotted on snow mobiles, tractors and skis making their ways to class.

“You already got your day off for the next five years,” Mnookin told The Daily Cardinal on Saturday. “What more could you possibly want? Salted sidewalks? Cleared roads? You people are so entitled.”

The chancellor echoed this sentiment on a university Instagram story Sunday night, captioning a photo of her office view out of Bascom Hall.“You guys don’t pay me enough to cancel. Have fun ********,” it read. The window reflected strobing green LEDs on her ceiling and an empty gallon of water with “Bucky Borger” written on it. She deleted the story Monday morning and released another with the official seal, captioned “Stay safe out there, Badgers! Bundle up and On, Wisconsin!”

Many students across campus turned to their professors to cancel, though they were heavily encouraged not to.

“I got about 300 emails last night asking me about lecture today. Only like 20 of them were from students and the rest were from admin threatening us if we cancelled,” said one professor, who cancelled classes and wishes to stay anonymous for their own safety.

But the weather did not stop every class. Some saw the Ice Age conditions as a teaching opportunity. 

“I actually got more work because of the snow. My mechanical engineering professor changed the syllabus and made us build snowplows worth 100% of our grade, and now I have an F since Mnookin smashed mine with a crowbar when she heard we were shoveling,” one engineering student said.

Madison, Dane County and the rest of the states’ school districts closed down for the weather, and many schools in other states had snow days in solidarity with Wisconsin. It seemed as though UW-Madison would absolutely close for at least one day, but the chancellor was determined to stay open. 

“Every one of you punks I make miserable is another $1,000 Columbia pays me next year, so good luck,” Mnookin said.

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