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The city of Madison is something of a drinker’s paradise, but here at The Daily Cardinal, we believe underage drinking shouldn’t have to be confined to dorms, college slums or bars like [redacted].
Follow this quick guide the next time you’re craving a picturesque pint in one of Madison’s many breathtaking urban parks.
HM: James Madison Park
Simply too good. The peoples’ republic’s namesake. No notes.
Drink Pairing: Sauvignon Blanc, or a tasteful Rosé, tucked away in a picnic basket
5. Olbrich Park
Who doesn’t love Olbrich park? It’s a beachside classic with a perfect view. The location is peak, right by the bike path, Olbrich Botanical Gardens and everyone’s favorite cool abandoned factory turned unbearable millennial-hipster warehouse (Garver Feedmill).
But there are also many problems. Being on the beach, the smell of goose crap is pungent, and it has high windchills. Also, it’s way too popular and has frequent stops by MPD.
Drink Pairing: Miller High Life
4. Door Creek Park
It’s big, it’s beautiful, it’s a great place to drink underage if you’re a lover of the outdoors. It’s on the edge of the city and has fields, forests, rivers and a pretty nice bench; the best Wisconsin has to offer.
However, its distance from campus — and that one time a buddy of mine and I encountered a weirdo who seemed like an undercover cop — sends this park toward the bottom of the list.
Drink Pairing: Fat Squirrel
3. Ed Klief park
Location, location, location. This grimy, big-city park is a stone’s throw from campus, just steps from the bustle of Regent St — home to some of Madison’s most freshmen-friendly bars.
Klief has probably never made a top 5 list ever, but it has all the trappings of an underage drinker’s paradise: accessibility, plenty of playground equipment to hurt yourself on and fewer streetlights than most.
Pair that with its close proximity to liquor stores, and Klief makes an interesting case. Still, its small size and relative openness keeps it in the three slot.
Drink Pairing: Captain Morgan
2. Henry Vilas Park
Vilas Park epitomizes everything a great boozin’ park should be: rolling hills, wide open grass spaces, spinning everything and more than its fair share of water.
However, the non-zero chance of getting mauled by a lion at the neighboring zoo keeps this park from taking the No. 1 spot
Drink Pairing: Spotted Cow
1. Tenney Park
The lagoons and ponds that crowd the interior of Tenney Park make for plenty of little shores and covered corners to glug grog in. Sure it’s scenic, but the size of the park gives all the privacy you could ever ask for. It’s the perfect place to enjoy Uber Eats, promo code: DailyCardinal-Bought-And-Paid-For.
The only possible downside is the risk of falling in, which often becomes a real danger as the night runs on and on and on…
Drink Pairing: Cherry Kool-Aid BORG
Dominic Violante is The Beet editor for The Daily Cardinal.
Nick Bumgardner is the managing editor of The Daily Cardinal. He previously served as features editor, and wrote for the state and campus news desks as a senior staff writer on rural issues, the 2024 presidential election and the UW System budget. He has written in-depth on labor policy, UW campus closures and local Madison persons of interest. You can follow him on Twitter at @nickbum_.
Oliver Gerharz is the arts editor and former podcast director for the Daily Cardinal. He is a journalism major and former host of the Cardinal Call. Follow him on Twitter @OliverGerharz.
