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Wednesday, November 19, 2025
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Luke Fickell

Fickell to receive $4 million bonus following win over Washington

Mnookin praises Fickell for third win this season.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.  

Wisconsin Badgers head coach Luke Fickell is set to receive a $4 million bonus following his close 24 point loss to Indiana last Saturday and 13-10 win against Washington two weeks ago. 

“The great Luke Fickell has sifted and winnowed his way to over two wins, so I’m honored to announce we will be giving him a $4 million bonus for his hard work,” University of Wisconsin-Madison Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin said. “Yes, we’ll have to close all of our libraries four hours earlier every day going forward, but I think it’s worth the sacrifice to award such success.”

While some have been upset by this news, claiming Fickell’s record is historically bad and that he should be fired, others have praised Mnookin’s decision.

“I think the bonus is a great idea. The Badgers are looking at having a killer rest of the season, and honestly, a bigger bonus should probably be considered. I mean, not only did we beat another team while it was snowing, but we also got seven entire points against Indiana. How many other coaches can claim to do that?” Fickell said in an exclusive interview with The Daily Cardinal.

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Dominic Violante

Dominic Violante is The Beet editor for The Daily Cardinal.


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