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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, March 01, 2024
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Hey, Morgan! I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, but I don’t know if he really likes me. What should I do?

He’ll learn to love you when you start dating, but getting your foot in the door with psychological manipulation is the important step.

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Well, lucky for you, human emotion is like putty — easily shaped by the hands of life. And if you’re like me — someone majoring in psychology, so I can manipulate others easier — you know exactly how to do this. The most simple thing to do is “Pavlov’s Dog” him. Find something he really likes. Men are easy, and you’ve probably heard him talk about himself in great lengths multiple times before without asking you a single question, so you totally know what gets him going. Pick something small, cheap and available — candy, a toy or something like that, and when you see him, give it to him. Sooner or later, he’ll equate that feeling of happiness from getting the item to being happy seeing you. After a while, he’ll start to get excited anytime you see him, and everyone knows excitement is the first step to romantic attraction. He’ll learn to love you when you start dating, but getting your foot in the door with psychological manipulation is the important step. Hope this helps!

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