Tempting Fate

I think of life this summer night 

A lot to be grateful for; I have seen the light

But like a cloud obstructing the sun

My mistakes resurface; memories I wish I could shun

I think of my nomadic days 

When I’d cling onto people to find my way

I traversed the secluded sands of loneliness 

Every step I took then, I made a mess

It’s pointless hanging onto a past I cannot affect 

Yet the moral quandary remains: intent or effect? 

I had the best intentions, but does that matter?

Whether I meant good or evil, weren’t my words still unwanted chatter? 

Were these people simply the means to an end?

No, I think they were ends in themselves; I dearly wish I could make amends 

There can be no forgiveness from them, no closure at all

Moving on makes sense then, but guilt hangs over like a pall

I think of plenty of fish in the sea, the wonderful people within reach

I think of tempting fate, and then I freeze

What if it all goes up in flames again?

I know my mistakes, but my brain replays this fearful refrain

I cannot cause more discomfort, or have moral quandaries

I must not lose sight of virtual boundaries 

There can’t be more summer nights pondering life in bed

More albatrosses wrapped around my head

So I must forgive myself, let it lay to rest

Build on my progress filling the void in my chest

I must carry the lessons from my failings 

Celebrate my strengths and own my shortcomings

Cherish those who make me feel wanted

That’s where my destiny lies; I’m just getting started.

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