The Almanac presents: Talking topics for your next dreamy date

We all know the shiny (and often misplaced) key to a successful date is thoughtful conversation. But in times like these, locating that key amid the patchwork of memes, passwords, fanatical behaviors and psychological scarring that fills our minds can be difficult. Luckily, if world-class conversationalists are stylish yet weatherproof furniture, then the Almanac is the veranda of a rich southern land baron—i.e., we got you.
Here are some conversation starters to try with your next hot date.
1. Warm ups. ’Cause you gotta spark a flame to start a fire.
Do I know you?
What is your name?
How are you?
Are you lactose intolerant?
2. If you’ve gotten this far it’s likely the date is going well, and you’re probably about halfway through a coffee and/or ham sandwich. It’s time to get to know what your date is passionate about, and show them how cultural and smart you are.
What is your favorite movie?
Have you seen that video online with the lawnmower and that goat?
Did it upset you?
Did you finish watching it, anyway?
If Rocky Balboa and Clubber Lang were in a hot dog eating contest, who would win?
If Rocky got in a bar fight with Rambo, who would win?
What if Rambo was wielding a broken pool cue?
What if the Rocky that Rambo was fighting was from Rocky IV, and in peak condition after training to box Ivan Drago?
Do you think it’s implied that Rocky dies after the end of “Creed,” or do you think it’s possible a few months of pushups and eating raw eggs could see Rocky make a full recovery from cancer?
3. Closers. These are the figurative left hooks to end your date with. If all rounds of the date have gone well thus far, it’s important to throw the knockout questions and express interest in a second outing.
Would explicitly showing Rocky die at the end of “Creed” be in bad taste, or a painful but necessary step in ensuring the future protection of an American cultural legacy?
Do you think that scene from the first “Rocky” movie when Rocky doesn’t let Adrian leave his apartment until she kisses him is sexual assault, or an awkward but romantic moment that just doesn’t reflect well on him under current social norms?
Have you ever seen the movie “Rocky?”
What about the sequels?
Have you ever been so excited about something that you were afraid if you did it and nobody was around to watch over you that you might accidentally hurt yourself in your fit of excitement because you were just so passionate about a certain topic and to experience it in its pure form would be like mainlining a potent drug?
Are you interested in watching every training montage from the “Rocky” franchise, back-to-back, including “Creed,” with the lights off and the volume at full blast?