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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Poll: Bascom Hill voted best hill on campus

All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Bascom Hill cruised to victory in the annual heated and controversial Best Hill competition, drubbing all other prospective hills in a sweeping victory which crushed the hopes of millions looking to celebrate the merits of other inclines and precipices.

“We’ve had enough of establishment hills, establishment knolls, and establishment protuberances,” claims one critic, who went on to claim that the Bascom Hill campaign was only able to win due to connections with big money from UW.  

“Bascom Hill is the most pragmatic choice,” claims one supporter.   “The other hills could be nice in Denmark or Sweden, but not here.”  

Voting is now closed.

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