Six-year-old Kenny Steidewaldt spent morning recess Wednesday completely alone, milling aimlessly around the playground kicking small rocks after his imaginary pal, Reggie—an invisible, intangible talking dinosaur—abandoned him to fraternize with the cool kids.
The 60-minute period of mind-numbing loneliness is a stark contrast to Kenny’s usual routine of industrious hole-digging with his until-now loyal imaginary buddy.
Reports say Reggie spent the period leaning against the brick wall with class favorites and all-around cool kids Jay and Derek, comparing their respective Easter candy hauls.
Word on the playground has it Reggie is invited to Derek’s seventh birthday party. Derek’s mom and dad are reportedly “loaded” and all the kids at last year’s party went laser tagging and received plastic lightsabers.
Kenny, Reggie’s creator and inseparable companion of three years, was not invited.
Recess supervisor Katherine Jo was not surprised by news of the split.
“It’s something I see all the time. Kenny isn’t a very interesting kid in the first place. He can fart at will, but that’s been the lynchpin of his social status for about a year now and the novelty is starting to fade. It’s no surprise Reggie is moving on.”