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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Sunday, September 26, 2021

The Almanac Dictionary

Impress your friends and improve your wimpy lexiconulatory skills with these little-known words.

Arsefarcey [ar-suh-far-see]

noun

1. Intelligent-sounding blather of no real substance or intellectual worth. Total bullshit.

ex. “I probably won’t watch the presidential debates. They’re almost entirely arsefarcy anyways.”

Blasfiferous [blas-fif-er-ous]

adjective

1. Otherworldly. Of or regarding a different realm of time and space. Not abiding by the rules of physics.

ex. “Michael Jordan’s jumping ability was blasfiferous. He cleared the Milky Way from the free-throw line.”

Condignitararararian [kun-dig-ni-ti-ra-ra-ra-ri-en]

noun

1. A person who believes in the existence or reality of a thing that is very obviously false or imagined.

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ex. “I once met a six-year-old who still believed in the moon landings. What a condignitararararian.”

Lurf [lerf]

noun

1. A single unit of beeswax. Often found near birds and/or bees.

ex. “I just spent $800 on a lurf of beeswax. Why did I do something so foolish?”

Splamtangrasize [splam-tan-gra-size]

verb

1. To profusely release the contents of one’s stomach through every possible orifice.

ex. “I splamtangrasized all over my lecture hall after I ate an entire dolphin for lunch.”

Syrupterousness [syr-up-ter-ous-ness]

adjective

1. A generally syrupy demeanor. Slow moving and lethargic, but in a sweet, lovable way.

ex. “Good ol’ Dan’s been so syrupterous since he ate all those dog biscuits.”

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