Sources close to the matter have disclosed that the University of Wisconsin-Madison office of admissions is just fucking with Bradley Tompkins, Mukwonago High School Class of 2014.
What began as a sincere wait-listing of the eager 18-year-old has become something of a sadistic prank for the bored admissions officers, who have already formally accepted or rejected the vast majority of 2014 applicants and are beginning to really enjoy the practice of stringing this kid along.
Findings thus far have exposed that across one week in March they sent him 36 letters simply reiterating his wait list status, reserving the following two-week span to mail him nothing and let him just stew in it.
It is being reported that the native Wisconsinite has wanted to be a Badger ever since he was a child, leading him to apply exclusively to the state’s flagship university, who—unbeknownst to him—are just maliciously yanking his chain at this point.
The Daily Cardinal got in touch with Mukwonago High School counselor Peggy Williamson, the main advisor to Tompkins who claims she is “becoming worried for Bradley’s chances.”
“Bradley has a great attitude and is super excited for college,” Williamson said. She also claims to regret that Tompkins only applied to one school, adding that he only has a “dece” GPA, “less-than-solid” ACT score, no “real sports” or volunteer work, nor any impressive extra-curriculars.
The UW-Madison admissions officers at the helm of this possibly illegal, genuinely mean-spirited operation apparently have no end in sight, recently fulfilling their bi-monthly practice of mailing Tompkins an envelope much larger than all the others, manipulating him to believe for a moment that the contents will include orientation materials.
At press time, Tompkins was anxiously waiting for the mail carrier to arrive only a few short hours after a particularly cruel admissions officer sent him a picture containing all of his friends who have already been accepted to his dream college.
