For Valentine’s Day, let’s talk relationships, relationships, relationships, in all forms! In our modern world, it’s hard to define most of our relationships, much less celebrate Valentine’s Day with them! Where’s a V-Day card for our Grindr or Tinder fuck buddies, Hallmark?! So whether we’re fretting about what to buy one lover—or six—let’s look at sharing the love in more than one way.
Here’s a nifty guide to different types of relationships, from monogamy to fuck buddies! It’s like a box of chocolates; we pick and choose from different choices and eat what we like for others . (I hear people at The Daily Cardinal like marzipan!) Side Note: If you don’t know what you’re getting, poke the bottom of the chocolate to see what’s inside. Nobody will notice if you put it back… (Was that sexual?)
There are some things to be said for all types of relationships. First, the more communication the better. Second, the more partners one has, the greater the chance of sexually transmitted infections, which is important to consider if barrier-free sex is a possibility. Which will be helped by communication! Full circle, yo.
Traditional relationships
This is a relationship a la Leave it to Beaver. Two people fall in love—or lust—with each other and partner up in monogamous bliss. Usually, exclusivity and camaraderie are born out of these relationships. But conflict can arise if two people’s lives diverge. If both partners wish to remain together, energy and sacrifice on both ends can become necessary for relationship maintenance.
Open relationships
In this relationship partners are allowed to see other people outside of the relationship for added sexytimes, or can frequently engage in multi-person sex. This is good for “lovers” who like to get way more ‘love’ than they can just give each other. However, the definition of ‘open’ can vary depending on the pair.
Polyamorous relationships
In this relationship, three or more people consent to and/or are aware of multiple romantic relationships occurring within one circle. This could mean one or both members of a couple dates other people separate from their “main” relationship or that three or more people are all in a relationship together. An obvious benefit of this type of relationship is that there is a lot of love, which allows people to indulge in the fun of dating and sexual encounters with multiple partners while having the benefit of romance and strong open communication. Downsides include the possibility of jealousy and more intricate (but complex) communication. But seriously. So much bone.
Friends with benefits
Exactly what it sounds like: friends who like to get it on with each other! This can be a great situation for friends who aren’t looking for a more serious romantic relationship, but still want the goodies of sex with strong communication and personal connections. This can range from just cuddling to the bow-chicka-wow-wow. Some downsides are fears an otherwise good friendship will deteriorate or turn into a romantic relationship (let’s assume that’s not what we want), or make starting another romantic relationship more difficult. Can include watching Family Feud.
Fuck buddies
Yup, exactly. This kind of relationship is all about two (or more) people who like each other enough to mutually work to getting the O-face, but otherwise are perfectly fine not having much of relationship outside of the bedroom. While dating isn’t often a possibility, we usually get what we want out of these simpler relationships.
Booty calls
Our booty call is our infrequent sexual partner who we can call out of the blue and have an almost guaranteed twist and shout with. That’s a definite upside, especially when we just need to get some, but communication might not be as strong.
At no point should we feel compelled to use only one relationship model. These are blue prints that can be fitted together to best fit our lives and desires. We can be in an open relationship for example, but only fool around with mutual friends (together or apart or maybe even go on a “double date,” if you catch my drift) making an open relationship-to-friends with benefits combination.
And no matter what model we chose, taking advantage of simple techniques can help mitigate the downsides of all models: using strong, honest but patient and frank communication will help us work through problems in any relationship. When we have more than one partner, making sure to use barriers or getting regular STI screenings (check out UHS for free STI screenings) lowers our chances of sharing a little more than love.
Cupid is a freaky dude, but since his intentions are so freaky good, let’s allow him to do his job! Happy Valentine’s Day all.
Any questions about the proverbial box of chocolates, Forrest Gump? Ask Michael by emailing him at mpodgers@wisc.edu.
