Deer Cardinal,
My roommate and I have lived together in the dorms for two years. We’re planning on moving off campus next year. We’ve checked out a few places around town, and my roommate is basically sold on this old house. I can see us living there, but I have a few small concerns. For one, the house has a cold draft and heat could get expensive. Also, the floorboards are very creaky. What are your thoughts?
—Harriet
House-hunting Harriet,
Old house, cold draft, creaky floorboards. If we apply a little rational thinking here, we will see the obvious: The place is haunted.
Sorry if I come across as condescending here, Harriet, but I have your best interests in mind. Sometimes, first-time house hunters need help seeing what’s right in front of them. And in your case, that’s a ghost. So, unless you want to deal with a tortured soul awakening you from your slumber every night or awkward ghost moans interrupting you while you’re trying to enjoy a bowl of cereal, I suggest you find another place.
Plus, ghostly implications aside, just how creaky are those floorboards? I mean, granted, I live in a nest made of twigs, so I have kind of a unique perspective, but for all we know, that creak could mean the floor is about to rot right out from under you.
You brought up a good point about heating costs too. Come winter, if you’re not careful, you could be paying out the wahzoo to keep you and your phantom friend warm.
Overall, though, enjoy your first house hunt! Sure, it can be a little overwhelming, but take your time and pay attention during showings—or else you might end up overpaying for a creaky craphole with poor lighting, shoddy insulation and, who knows, maybe even more ghosts. Best of luck!
For answers to your questions, tweet at the Deer Cardinal. Out loud, not online.
