Dear Alex,
The size of my penis is…below average. They say size doesn’t matter—it’s how you use it. Is there any truth to that?
—Totally Inadequate Pecker?
Have no fear, TIP! There are lots of people who find themselves with peckers smaller than the “standard…” which is bullshit anyway. Who decided to measure and decide what “average length” was? Average cannot measure what makes a dick give or receive pleasure, or how well it can produce and distribute them semen. Average, my friends, is useless.
People always say, “It’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean.” If we know our penis isn’t the “MONSTER COCK” advertised in our favorite pornos, we just have to learn how to use it to its full potential.
Two of the most important things about having sex are rhythm and movement. If we’re able to move in such a way (hard, gentle, fast, slow, etc.) that gets our partner going, we’re doing something right.
If we’re engaging in penetrative intercourse, we should think of the walls of the orifice we’re fucking as a reflection of the receptive partner’s legs. So when the bottom has their legs together, the walls of the anus or vagina become closer together too, providing a tighter but longer pathway for peen. If the catcher’s legs are far apart, the walls of the sex hole are wider but shallower, allowing for deep-feeling penetration with less length.
This means positions like doggie-style are perfect for varying up the sensation any penis will provide. If the insertive partner’s legs are positioned around the outside of the receptive’s partners “closed” legs, the person will feel like a wider penis is fucking them.
If we engage in dee-style with the bottom partner’s legs far apart with the top’s legs close together, the opposite sensation will ensue—the bottom will feel a deep penetration with less tightness against the orifice walls.
Small penises are also easier to handle in the mouth department. Many people are intimidated by the thought of putting large dicks in their mouths, so being able to suck on a smaller one can make us feel more comfortable. Broad licks and strong suction can pack a much bigger punch on a smaller penis.
If our little pecker is something we cannot use confidently, we should always remember we still have hands and a tongue. No matter what our partner’s genitalia look like, we can get them off with a well-timed finger or fist and a flitting, puckering or sucking mouth. And thank goodness for that.
If what we’re naturally equipped with seems like it is just not enough, there’s an app for that! And by app I mean toy. Obviously.
Sex toys called “Penis Extenders” are basically dildos that just slip over penises that allow the penis to fuck like it’s larger but still experience a similar sensation to bare-skin penetration. These dildos can also be used if we ejaculate or feel finished before our partner—just slap on one of these babies and we’ll be “hard” for hours!
There are several surgeries available for those looking to permanently alter their penis size. However, studies have shown the surgeries can create serious complications.
Furthermore, the procedures often only extend the length of a flaccid penis and do not alter the size of a penis when erect. In fact, the surgeries can create “floppy dick syndrome” and often lead to an erect penis succumbing to gravity and needing to be held in order to stick up or out straight.
It’s important to keep in mind that for some people, size does matter. It’s not particularly fair, but it isn’t exactly shallow either. An attraction to dick can be a part of a person’s sexuality, and some people may only be attracted to large- or medium-sized peckers.
We may like how the bigger cocks stimulate our G-spots or prostate, how the big ones feel in our mouths when we’re giving head or just like they way they look. That doesn’t make those people “bad” or “judgmental,” it just means they know what will ultimately get them off.
The most important thing a person who has a smaller schlong can do is not feel ashamed about it. The things that make us self-conscious often make us less attractive to others—e.g. someone always talking about how fat they are or how poorly they always do on exams—and shrugging off whatever things might make us less confident can artificially and genuinely boost our self-esteems. Yay!
Penises, in my opinion, should be a source of pride, the way any genitalia should. It’s physically what makes us sexual and what makes us sexy. Chin up, friend. The size of our penis doesn’t determine who will fall in love with us or how successful we’ll be in the future.
Did any of the tips and techniques work for you? Got other juicy questions for the Dirty Bird? Send questions to Alex at sex@dailycardinal.com.
