With tension rising between the United States and the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, also known as North Korea, former NBA star Dennis Rodman has been revealed as a spy for the United States government after his recent hang-out sesh’ with Supreme Ruler Kim Jong Un.
The military reached out to Dennis Rodman, former NBA star, lifelong crazy person and new best friend of the Supreme Ruler, in hopes of receiving more useful intelligence on Jong Un’s plans after Jong Un revealed on his blog that he is a very big fan of “the American basketball.” Rodman visited North Korea during the first week of April in what was then thought to be a recreational visit and was seen with Kim Jong Un on several occasions in which the pair were “straight-up chilling,” according to one witness.
After the media frenzy following the visit waned, Rodman’s desperation to remain in the public eye led him to reveal himself as an American spy to a TMZ reporter late Saturday night.
Rodman said, “Look, I didn’t want to spy on him anymore. Kim Jong Un was a pretty tight bro. He was always calling me ‘da bomb’ and he just really loves jelly beans and Shaun White. Oh, and he’s super afraid of poodles. I don’t know what that’s about.”
Rodman also stated, “He actually showed me where he keeps all of his ‘bombs’ and ‘nukes,’ and when he opened the door, it was just a big old closet full of Furbies and red rubber kickballs. I didn’t have the heart to tell his hopeful little face that those weren’t actually bombs.”
When CNN contacted Rodman Wednesday to ask how this public announcement of private information will affect his friendship with the Supreme Ruler, Rodman said, “He won’t know I spilled the beans. Lil’ Kim’s English really isn’t too great.”
Rodman went on to say he and Kim Jong Un will remain lifelong friends and Kim will always have his support, but he prefers to stay out of North Korea’s politics.
The State Department declined to comment when asked just what they were thinking when they asked Dennis Rodman to be a spy in the first place.
