Dear Alex,
My girlfirend and I are looking to spice things up in our relationship. She ran the idea of having a threesome. What are your thoughts, recommendations and opinions?
Thanks for the help.
Ben Dover
The threesome! A sacred act; fantasized by the many, completed by the few, the brave, the horny. Anybody else want to capitalize the word “threesome” every time they write it, just to pronounce its worthiness? Does anybody else even write “threesome,” ever? Didn’t think so. Moving on.
Organizing and completing a successful threesome is as complicated as deciding who will start out making out while somebody else gets the shaft…literally. The first decision to make is figuring out who you’re going to invite into your bedroom—or kitchen, or shower; you know the drill—and this isn’t as easy as it seems. Sure, you could grab a willing participant at a party or the bars, but agreeing with your boo about who is or isn’t suitable can be a hard decision to make on the fly.
It’s important to negotiate the gender of your new partner and how you will locate this new person. My go-to wouldn’t be Craigslist, but maybe utilizing available technologies, such as Tinder or OkCupid, could work as long as you’re honest about your intentions. Easier still, you may know someone already who has expressed interest. Capitalize on that simple grab and begin the conversation! If you don’t have a default hottie to complete your trifecta, keep on the lookout. Go out to bars and dance clubs and see if anyone catches your eye. Start a discussion as you would with any prospective lay and let them know what you’re interested in. You just might get lucky.
Discussing limitations, first between your sweetheart and yourself, then later between all three of you, is necessary. You need to make sure that jealousy and the overstepping of boundaries are avoided at all costs. Even though this may take the spontaneity out of the experience, it’ll be worth it in the end.
Some things to consider: how much physical contact the newbie should make with each person, in addition to STI status and protection methods with which the three of you are comfortable. Letting your new partner know whether your trio will be a one-time-thing or could become a repeated occurrence is also something the three of you should consider.
The most important thing to consider when hoping to participate in something so intimate is the emotional response of all people involved. Many unexpected reactions may become prevalent without warning, and feeling betrayed and/or jealous after partaking in a threesome can have negative consequences. The fun can certainly bring you and your partner closer, but it is also feasible that the two of you will feel awkward and uncomfortable. Talk about how you’ll deal with those feelings if they arise before your three-way to stay on the same page.
My greatest suggestion is to really consider the level of trust you and your partner share. Only the two of you can decide if adding in a third will enhance your appreciation for each other or make the two of you second guessing the decision to add another lover. Emotional reactions are hard to predict or reconcile, but prepping for any uncertainty is sure to help.
And remember, this experience has the potential to become one of your greatest experiences and memories, so enjoy it! I mean, when we consider how long this situation has been fantasized about by people of all genders, it’s easy to appreciate how unique it is to have three people willing to bare it all and get it on.
Try to stay mentally present and remind yourself to memorize how fun it is to watch your dick being sucked by two people at once, or how blissful it feels to give and receive cunnilingus at the same time. Just having two people kissing on you at once can make for a great night and great masturbatory material for later. Revel in it, figuratively and literally, and keep in mind that you’re lucky for having this experience.
Go get some, Badgers, and remember to send your juicy sex questions to Alex at sex@dailycardinal.com.
