Since the pope surprised the Catholic community by announcing his resignation last week, several even more shocking revelations about his future plans have surfaced.
Many of these stories have broken on the UW-Madison Confessions Facebook page, a page where University of Wisconsin-Madison students have taken to anonymously publishing secrets about their daily lives. In a shocking turn of events, the pope revealed himself by posting non-anonymously and owning up to some pretty Madison-worthy plans.
In what he’s calling the “ultimate throwback Thursday move”—a pope has not retired for several hundred years—Pope Benedict XVI has decided it is time to throw off the “total downer” image of the papacy and embrace a more fun-loving, free-wheeling lifestyle and, according to Facebook, he determined UW-Madison to be the perfect place.
He confirmed Thursday night he has already booked a flight to Madison in May for the Mifflin Street Block Party and already has several “totally badass” T-shirt ideas in mind for the event.
“I don’t want 2 spoil the surprise, but I can tell u that it’s going to involve some pretty hilarious puns,” [sic] said the Facebook post.
Some skeptics have expressed doubts that a man of the pope’s advanced years could adequately navigate the technology required to make such posts, but as anyone who has seen his wildly popular Twitter can attest, he is no stranger to social media.
The pope made a statement that he was attracted to the page, which is run by an anonymous Facebook user who calls himself “The Creator,” because he has been listening to confessions for the duration of his career.
“I have been dying to share some of the juicy stuff I’ve heard over the years,” he said. “Besides, who knows more about Creators than me? I’m tight with the original Creator after all.”
The Vatican refused to comment on this story, but the pope took to Facebook one more time late Thursday night to confirm he will “definitely be raising some hell at mifflin this year-—not literally of course lol.” [sic] There has been no word on whether or not his beer bong skills will live up to his reputation.
