For some reason, I always end up being one of the last people on campus at the beginning of a break, whether it be Thanksgiving, finals or spring break, I’m here. I wonder what I did in this life or a past one to make the scheduling gods so angry with me that I wound up in this hot mess of a situation (read: me alone on the second floor of the College Library quiet room at 6:00 p.m.).
Yet, as much as I hate having to stay on campus while you’re at home—being fed homemade seven-layer bars by your parents while you watch the just-released DVD of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows—Part Two” and sip on gourmet hot chocolate next to a fire they lit in the basement so your feet don’t get cold—I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ve become this school’s bitch, and it has a number of perks.
Here are some of the advantages of being one of the last people to leave Madison before the start of a break.
Flyin’ solo at College Library:
The Library is never crowded. Not having to to worry about finding a seat or, god forbid, an outlet for your computer Definitely a positive when you’re cramming for your last final. Also, the majority of people in the library this late in the game are usually not super attractive, thus fewer distractions and more As (who am I kidding, Bs).
Disadvantage: There’s still that one bitch who won’t turn her phone on silent. As much of a fan I am of Kim Possible, that ringtone is no longer super awesome after hearing it ring every single time someone gets a text. Plus, everyone has that ringtone now. So please stop.
Leg room on the bus home:
Instead of those weekend trips home when you are forced to sit with some non-student who reeks of McDonald’s and has no understanding of the concept of “personal space,” you finally get some leg room. This is also way better than sitting next to a random student who you 1) awkwardly avoid eye contact and the accidental arm/leg brush with while using your computers simultaneously, (one of the most stressful situations since my ninth grade semi-formal) or 2) the awkwardly drawn-out conversation with that one kid you only slightly know, so you have to talk but you don’t have enough in common to talk for the whole five-hour bus ride home.
None of these situations is ideal, which is why I love riding the bus home as one of the last people on campus —there is a 95 percent chance you will get the whole row all to your diva self. If there ever was a time to say first world problems, this would be it. Feel free to be slightly less uncomfortable with one less kink in your neck and legs stretched out almost fully but not quite because, damn, these seats are small.
Extra lovin’ when you arrive home:
Coming home feels great because, in addition to being done with finals/midterms/classes, you also had to go through the extra pain of being stuck at school longer. Your parents give you an extra seven-layer bar, two blankets instead of one and whipped cream on top of your cup of hot chocolate.
It’s a pretty good deal in my book. The book that I’m reading alone. In the library. Alone. As the last person on campus.
Stuck in the Memorial Library cages until Dec. 23 as well? Shoot Meg an e-mail at mburnton@wisc.edu and begin stocking up on Red Vines and caffeine for the arduous weeks ahead.
