Study finds correlation between IQ, Snapchat use and rate of injuries
A study released by UW-Madison’s Psychology Research Division has outlined a network of patterns linking the popular social media application Snapchat to a nationwide surge of unexplained injuries, most of which involve either hyperextension of the arms or traumatic impacts with bystanders, furniture and inanimate objects in the street.
According to experts, the application promotes the extension of outstretched arms into high-traffic areas such as hallways, elevators, escalators and particle accelerators. Experts cite telescopic ‘selfie sticks’ as only adding to the mayhem, as the three-foot aluminum rods exacerbate the potential for catastrophic, albeit hysterical, injuries.
“I can’t say the best crash I’ve seen,” a security guard at Disney’s Animal Kingdom said. “This one jogger went full-speed into this mom’s arm as she was Snapchatting her eight-year-old trying to climb the Tree of Life. The mom was fine. The jogger got a concussion. The kid thought it was hilarious.”
Reports of Snapchat injuries have extended into medical school curricula, where students and postdocs are being taught proper procedure for hyperextended arms as a result of Snapchat selfies.
Epic’s cutting-edge medical software system has even added a new category for collision injuries of this type, known confidentially as MORON_2.
“There is some interesting data backing up the assertion that low IQ scores are correlated with excessive, public use of Snapchat,” Snapchat researcher Holden McGroin said. “These accidents, along with the several close calls we’ve seen in public spaces and near roadways, are obvious signs that Snapchat is a driving factor in the dangerization of mobile applications.”
Reports of bystanders being stiff-armed by unwary Snapchatters have been in circulation since the application’s advent on Stanford University’s campus in 2011, but the explosion in complaints has led researchers to investigate whether other issues have contributed to the surge in Snapchat-related injuries.
“There’s a clear correlation,” an associate professor at UW-Madison said. “You have an application which requires an outstretched arm to take a good picture at a distance. Combine that with the constant need to take these pictures, the location where the pictures might be taken and the traffic patterns around the person taking these pictures, the chances for a collision just go … well … skyward.”
When asked for an interview via phone, 26-year-old Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel took few questions.
“Snapchat is meant to connect people,” Spiegel said. “But not like this.”