Nick Rawling

PODCAST

Soda Talk Ep. 9: #CrispyJuicyTender

By Nick Rawling , Mackenzie Moore and Michael Kuhn | 12:49pm

Nick and Mackenzie are back with another episode of Soda Talk. We talk the curd burger, preview the Cardinal-H*rald flag football faceoff, discuss the Becky Blank news, propose some infrastructure solutions and play some hot dog trivia. Editing help from Michael Kuhn. To see more content from the Daily Cardinal's Almanac section, go here: www.dailycardinal.com/section/almanac. If you're interested in writing for the almanac or want to yell at us, DM us on Twitter @SodaTalkPod. Almanac content is creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional. This content is fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

PODCAST

Soda Talk Ep. 8: I'm Not Pro-Bestiality, But

By Nick Rawling , Mackenzie Moore and Michael Kuhn | 12:48pm

Soda Talk is back with hosts Nick and Mackenzie. We talk Tina from Napoleon Dynamite, critical race theory, octopus hot dogs and anti-maskers on campus. Plus the return of Paytas updates. Editing help from Michael Kuhn. To see more content from the Daily Cardinal's Almanac section, go here: www.dailycardinal.com/section/almanac. If you're interested in writing for the almanac or want to yell at us, DM us on Twitter @SodaTalkPod. Almanac content is creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional. This content is fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Courtesy of Creative Commons

FOOTBALL

Paul Chryst Invites Taliban Fighters to Camp Randall to Help Badgers Prepare for Army

By Nick Rawling | Oct. 14

The fighters told the Badgers that if they can keep Army’s defense on the field long enough, they’ll eventually give up and go home.

Courtesy of Flickr

ALMANAC

Michigan Football Coach Jim Harbaugh changes pants for first time in six years

By Nick Rawling | Sep. 30

"I want to look my best for my first ever win in Madison,” Harbaugh explained to reporters.

ALMANAC

Lila

By Nick Rawling | Sep. 23

A short story and essay dedicated to a beloved cat, Lila, who passed away over the weekend.

ALMANAC

Facebook Aunts and Uncles Across the Country Poison Themselves With Livestock Medicine to Own the Libs

By Nick Rawling | Sep. 9

Disclaimer: I fully recognize that this fruit is as low-hanging as it gets, and frankly, it feels like cheating for me to use it as Almanac material. But I had writer’s block, and my only other idea involved vivid descriptions of Ruth Bader Ginsberg banging Antonin Scalia in the Afterlife, so you’re welcome.

ALMANAC

After Week of Chaos, Joe Biden Orders Re-Invasion of Afghanistan

By Nick Rawling | Aug. 19

As mask mandates return, ICU beds fill to capacity with dying children and another soft lockdown looms, one issue is on the minds of Americans’ this week: important gains have been lost in Afghanistan’s Uruzgan province.

Courtesy of Gage Skidmore via Creative Commons

OPINION

Sen. Ron Johnson should get the COVID-19 vaccine whether he likes it or not

By Nick Rawling | Apr. 29

In what has become a somewhat-regular occurrence as of late, Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wis, once again thrust himself into the national spotlight last week by saying something incredibly dumb.

Jessie Levy

ALMANAC

‘Hero’ cop accidentally reaches for taser instead of gun, tases self in the balls, dies

By Nick Rawling | Apr. 15

The nation is mourning the loss of one of its big beautiful boys in blue after Minneapolis police officer Jim O’Brien accidentally discharged a taser into his nuts and died Wednesday.

Lyra Evans

ALMANAC

Five signs your father is having an affair with Lil Nas X

By Nick Rawling | Apr. 1

The release of the music video for Lil Nas X’s new hit song “Montero” on Friday triggered by far the best internet discourse since Trump has left office — RIP bozo.