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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Friday, April 19, 2024

Jacob Borowsky


Daily Cardinal
THE BEET

Walker plans to amp up racism, sexism to fill hole left by Trump in preparation for presidential run in 2020

Sources within Gov. Scott Walker’s campaign have confirmed early reports that Walker’s campaign strategy will undergo a major theme overhaul in anticipation of another presidential campaign in 2020. Though the election is quite a ways away, Walker and his team are already rebranding his image to more closely appeal to the base of out-of-touch, chauvinist and uneducated Americans he desperately needs to win the Republican primary. Specific details from Walker’s camp include reports that he has already settled on a new campaign slogan of “Make America Great Again, More.” The assumption here, one source said, is that the same Americans who supported Republican nominee Donald Trump will be even more supportive of Walker, because Walker wants to make America “even more better-er than Trump does.”  Other themes Walker plans on emphasizing are his new-and-improved racism, which will include repeating false and misleading statistics on crime committed by illegal immigrants and generalizing entire religions as terrorists. Walker will also heavily focus on his new initiative of building a massive border wall that is similar, but not quite the same, as Trump’s.

CAMPUS NEWS

Professor discusses legal services, race riots of 1960s

Though simply tweeting #BlackLivesMatter after a police shooting might be easy, professor Jamein Cunningham explained that immersing yourself in research and data on legal and racial relations of the 1960s and ’70s is a substantially more effective response. Cunningham, an economics professor at Portland State University, presented findings from his extensive study on this topic at a seminar Thursday at Memorial Union, hosted by the Institute for Research on Poverty.

Daily Cardinal
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The Five Marks of a Good President

Well folks, election season is almost upon us. This year we have two awesome contenders for the elusive Oval Office: Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton and Republican Donald “Kingslayer” Trump, who earned his nickname for his striking resemblance to “Game of Thrones” character Jamie “Kingslayer” Lannister. If you are one of the many people who think either candidate would be awful, federalism does a decent job of stunting executive power, so fret not.

THE BEET

Wisconsin fan intercepts Michigan State QB Tyler O’Connor from the stands

Late in the third quarter of Saturday’s Badgers triumph at Michigan State, one Badgers fan made a crucial play that would seal the Badgers commanding lead for good. With four minutes left to play in the quarter, on a 3rd-down and 14, Michigan State QB Tyler O’Connor dropped back to pass when he saw Badgers LB Jack Cichy coming around the left end of the offensive line.

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