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Monday, June 15, 2026

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Ray Blando, local bar owner, staring at his rows of alcohol and listening to something that’s not hip-hop.
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Madison bar owner slips up, calls hip-hop ‘black people music’

By Marc Tost and Patrick Hoeppner | Apr. 27, 2017

In a story that continues to develop amid controversy, local bar owner Ray Blando has been overheard referring to popular hip-hop tracks as “black people music.” Students on the scene report that he continued to say, “Future and Migos bring an atmosphere that, while lit, could bring a far more inclusive party environment to our establishment, and that’s something we are not yet comfortable with.” These reports have contributed to significant backlash from students and Madison residents alike.

An image of Peter Pan in 2017. Pan and six of his gang, the Lost Boys, were arrested and charged with criminal trespassing Saturday.
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Peter Pan arrested by police, charged with criminal trespassing

By Noah Mack | Apr. 27, 2017

Peter Pan, permanently age 10, was picked up by police around 3:30 a.m. Saturday outside a U.S. Naval facility in Maryland and charged with first degree criminal trespassing. Pan, notorious for his agelessness and care-free attitude, has racked up an astounding number of charges in the 32 years since he left Neverland.

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Flashing Lights

By Eliza Weisberg | Apr. 24, 2017

Your lips were the color of lilacs when you told me we met in the summer I dont remember when you said we fell in love        -those were the next lyrics in the song But i pretended that you said right away Now i cant look at lilacs anymore Because all i see is your lips

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Nowhere

By Alexandra Pleasant | Apr. 24, 2017

This the third and final installment of our ongoing mystery series. In the second installment of “Nowhere,” Hannah runs to Cade’s apartment after Levi says that Cade was not with them when they walked on the lake the night before.

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respiration

By Eliza Weisberg | Apr. 24, 2017

The thing is- a really awful thing happened, but listening to the way air moves through your lungs as I lay on your chest makes everything still for a moment. I would rather listen to the blood move through your veins than do most things. My time is yours even when it’s not. -maybe that’s tragedy; I don’t know. Maybe it’s tragedy to think that I don’t want to think about what happened; but I do want to remember your lips. And the way they felt on mine before they were bruised.

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Tangled headphone cable proves minor annoyance for Madison resident

By Noah Mack | Apr. 13, 2017

In a slightly annoyed state Monday night, area-man Luke Bauer reached into his pocket and discovered that, yet again, his Bose earbuds had twisted themselves into an intricate knot. The incident—which really wasn’t a big deal—caused Bauer to sigh heavily and yank on random parts of the wire. “The entire sight was pretty relatable,” said local witness George Hartin.

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A Love Letter to Helga Pataki

By Mariam Coker | Apr. 10, 2017

You shine so bright, they force you into a shadow, growing into a sunflower without the sun to turn to, girl, you got the magic You are surrounded by skeptics who weren’t present witness to your blossom, they doubt it’s occurrence, they doubt you. I feel your anger, the nonchalant way of going about expecting nothing from the people that interact with the day. No one will let you down without your permission. I get why you write, why you obsess, why you get mad, that you love so hard and so much, it drags you down like a responsibility. So you stopped carrying your heart in your hands. I know most times you leave it at home, perhaps in your closet, so no one will know you have one, too. You hide your soft so no one try to shape you into something you are not. You don’t want anyone to accidentally step on it and then feel bad for not accepting their “sorry.” To you that word is flimsy, can’t even take being thrown in a trashcan. Helga, I know how bad waking up can be, when no one is there to say good morning, or there when you get back home, or there when your world is screaming novels at you. And I get that sometimes loneliness is not a choice, it’s the only option when no one chooses you back. Please write until everything you have to say is able to be read and I’ll read it. Helga you are so beautiful, and loving yourself is only half the battle, sometimes it’s the full war. Thank you for the Saturday mornings, for those 20 minutes it wasn’t so bad to be alone.

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That's all she wrote

By Eliza Weisberg | Apr. 10, 2017

That’s all she wrote I’m looking at you and thinking about how the pen That pen there That you have in your mouth Will be wet Now From the moisture on your tongue And that pen That pen right there Will also be hot With each Heavy breath that you exhale And that pen Yeah baby that  Wet Pen you have in your mouth Right There- Will have bite marks on it Where you’ve clenched your jaw and bitten down With each crescendo of your lungs As air touches your wet lips And your eyes blink like forbidden fruit -- ughh honey your mouth could write the sweetest poetry That pen That pen there Signs my life away

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Applying for Citizenship

By Bet-Zua Jimenez | Apr. 10, 2017

It’s not home. But wasn’t it once? Wasn’t it ours before we were told who we were? Didn’t we exist before we were given these names? There must have been a time before Ma lost her tongue to shame.

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The Presence of Trees

By Caroline Stevens | Apr. 10, 2017

I found an article the other day about a situation in Melbourne last year on how the city had identified all trees with a different number and email address, so that citizens could send emails to city officials about complaints, a way to improve the city life.

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Study finds correlation between IQ, Snapchat use and rate of injuries

By Patrick Hoeppner | Apr. 6, 2017

A study released by UW-Madison’s Psychology Research Division has outlined a network of patterns linking the popular social media application Snapchat to a nationwide surge of unexplained injuries, most of which involve either hyperextension of the arms or traumatic impacts with bystanders, furniture and inanimate objects in the street. According to experts, the application promotes the extension of outstretched arms into high-traffic areas such as hallways, elevators, escalators and particle accelerators.

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Nowhere

By Alexandra Pleasant | Apr. 3, 2017

This is the second installment in our ongoing mystery series. In the first installment of Nowhere, three friends, Hannah, Cade, and Levi walk across a frozen lake Mendota in the middle of the night.

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By creating new bubbling drinking machine, smartass Wisconsinite proves point

By Noah Mack | Mar. 30, 2017

Mathew Leedom, an engineer at the Wisconsin General Electric factory, developed a fully-functional bubbling drinking fountain Monday night, giving validity to the well-known “bubbler,” a slang term used to describe the hydrating machine. A 15-year veteran with GE, Leedom decided to develop the blueprint for the machine after a debate with an out-of-state coworker about the proper name for the device.

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An elegy

By Eliza Weisberg | Mar. 27, 2017

when i kissed a boy with your same name: 1. cigarettes hung on my clothes and the scent of lilacs lingered in my pores 2. deception on my lips but I can still remember the blood on your hands 3. your fingernails raked across the surface of my brain and my mind screamed a chorus of no’s 4. we warmed each other with our bodies but your name still feels like ice on my tongue

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