Stubborn, obsessive child insists on being the goddamn blue power ranger for the third Halloween in a rowBy Jordan Simon | Oct. 31, 2019
Simpson's Power Ranger stance.
Devilish candy corn staring you down intensely, daring you to have a taste while it collects dust in your mother's decorative Halloween dish
Looking for an incredible last-minute Halloween costume like "Sexy King Henry VIII" or "Flamingo Run"? Look no further!
All contributing content members from the infamous "UW-Madison Memes for Milk-Chugging Teens" become recipients of the Nobel Prize for Literature.
Lizzo faces much controversy following the leak of her DNA test.
Dumb baby wearing "I will change the world" t-shirt accused of not knowing anything about poverty, climate change or humankind's inherent evilBy Bailey Hills | Oct. 10, 2019
Dumb, ignorant baby defiantly tries to prove that he can in fact keep his head up during tummy time.
In wake of striking accusations against Trump in anonymous whistleblower report, some still want to be friends.
Pregnant teen male.
Smartass wants everyone to know he's confused why The Daily Cardinal is only published once per weekBy Jordan Simon | Oct. 3, 2019
Smartass wants everyone to know he’s confused why he can only find The Daily Cardinal on stands once a week.
Dear Beauty, so often so judgemental on the outskirts of am I enough? do I focus on your definition or what society has defined you as or better yet my definition of you yourself and I am reminded of chiseled lines and opposite parentheticals not of my own appearance but of who I have defined as enough not because you said so but because i’ve ignored your message of free defining of free will to be your name and in retrospect my definition has created a push for my own aesthetic for my own existence and worth allowing judgement free judgement leaving a contradicting love for you and of me for your definition never used a limit and here I have because ease is a better pain than acceptance and i’d rather hold what is filled in my sack than to confront your truth to reframe my mind to know what I knew before and to repeat your name in the remembrance of my great grandmother before me and how you both whispered to my mother’s womb there is no such thing as enough
“In my book, loyalty is a two-way street,” “My cheating ex-husband has more integrity,” and “Capitalism must die!” are just a few of the remarks from frustrated members of a well-known chain coffee shop’s loyalty program.
Professor Allenson being rushed to the hospital following a life-threatening soggy french-fry allergic reaction.
Man makes fool of himself by wearing an unfitting t-shirt while posing for pictures in front of breathtaking waterfall.
Self-proclaimed coffee drinker goes undetected for yet another day.
Dropped pledges wince away from Langdon Street as they take their place on the sidelines.