ALMANAC
An analysis of the phrase “hot as balls”
By Jordan Simon | Feb. 6, 2020“Hot as balls” is a commonly used phrase, but what exactly is its appropriate use? Read to find out more!
Almanac
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Pixels
By Anupras Mohapatra | Feb. 6, 2020"Perhaps someday I’ll be a pixel truly part of the picture, no longer out of place."
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Student crosses crosswalk with no sense of urgency with only two seconds left on crossing signal
By Bailey Hills | Jan. 30, 2020Poor crosswalk man now powerless.
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Preston: A post-apocalyptic social commentary of germ-normous importance [Sponsored by Lysol]
By Jordan Simon | Jan. 30, 2020It was just another day in West Streptococcus, a city located on the desk of fourth-grader Jimmy Sutton, but suddenly a big cloud appeared in the sky. That was all Preston could remember before he woke up in a strange new place.
ALMANAC
Almanac Icebreakers
By Jordan Simon , Madison Moore and Bailey Hills | Jan. 21, 2020Dreading beginning-of-the-semester icebreakers? Almanac has you covered with 20 unique ideas that will have you prepared for any ice breaker that your professor may throw your way.
ALMANAC
Teen claims that his balls dropped in unison with Times Square ball drop
By Bailey Hills | Jan. 21, 2020Smith ponders the meaning behind his testicular development.
ALMANAC
Spotify rolls out aggressive marketing tactic, encouraging premium subscriptions
By Bailey Hills | Jan. 21, 2020Spotify encourages users to go premium with a new idea to interrupt songs every ten seconds with the same advertisement.
ALMANAC
After over 5,600 NetID accounts hacked, UW-Madison moves to implement third factor of authentication
By Jordan Simon | Jan. 21, 2020UW-Madison has announced they will implement a third-factor authentication to the login process.
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UW proposes expansion of Starship Robot services
By Madison Moore and Jenna Moss | Dec. 5, 2019Starship Jonathan Taylor carries the ball down the field during a UW Athletics test of Starship Robots in place of football players.
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Pearls and snowballs
By Anupras Mohapatra | Dec. 5, 2019"Perhaps pearls and snowballs are a lot alike / For at the end of it all, it doesn’t even matter."
ALMANAC
‘No Nut November’ sends nut-based snack companies into panicked frenzy
By Bailey Hills | Nov. 21, 2019"No Nut November" causes the nation's nuts to grow visibly upset, losing more and more pigment as the holiday progresses.
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floating
By Alex Martinez | Nov. 14, 2019"Do I go with the flow / Or become the master of my sea?"
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sunday mo(u)rnings
By Tara Sherchok | Nov. 14, 2019"sunday mournings were never meant for music anyway"
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pinky promises
By Tara Sherchok | Nov. 14, 2019"our pinkies interlocked with a whisper of a promise"
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Militant hippie occupies Library Mall, compromises student values
By Sam Jones | Nov. 7, 2019Candid speaks to passing frat boys.
ALMANAC
Stubborn, obsessive child insists on being the goddamn blue power ranger for the third Halloween in a row
By Jordan Simon | Oct. 31, 2019Simpson's Power Ranger stance.
ALMANAC
Despite tireless production, candy corn sits untouched on shelves for yet another year
By Bailey Hills | Oct. 31, 2019Devilish candy corn staring you down intensely, daring you to have a taste while it collects dust in your mother's decorative Halloween dish
ALMANAC
In need of a last-minute Halloween costume? Almanac has you covered!
By Jordan Simon , Mira Gollard and Bailey Hills | Oct. 24, 2019Looking for an incredible last-minute Halloween costume like "Sexy King Henry VIII" or "Flamingo Run"? Look no further!
ALMANAC
Elements
By Anupras Mohapatra | Oct. 17, 2019Humans are the most profound pieces of literature
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Popular
By Taylor Smith
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09/11/2021
By Justin Alpert
|
09/11/2021
By J.J. Post
|
09/11/2021
By Christian Voskuil
|
09/11/2021
By Lekha Kachoria
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09/14/2021
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