Almanac
Windshield Wipers
By Kellen Sharp | Apr. 11, 2019Check out this poem from almanac editor, Kellen Sharp, about emotion.
Rebirthed band launches headlining tour in Madison, “Seasonal Depression” rocks the Slyvestic
By Sam Jones | Apr. 11, 2019With the recent spike in temperatures in the Midwest, it is no surprise that the recently opened outdoor venue, Sylvestic Theatre, started off their business venture with a performance from the local breakout band, “Seasonal Depression.”
anger poem
Apr. 5, 2019This week a poem about someone figuring out how to deal with their anger.
Mike Pence admits to being within 5 mile radius of unmarried woman
By Dominic LeRose | Apr. 3, 2019Speaking at the White House gardens with a tender heart and troubled face, Vice President Mike Pence took full responsibility and admitted to being in the same building as an unmarried woman.
Historians uncover evidence which indicates that the French Revolution may have been caused by a pyramid scheme
By Bailey Hills | Mar. 28, 2019Historians recently uncovered evidence suggesting that a pyramid scheme, much like the ones that relentlessly pester the timelines of unsuspecting Facebook users today, may have actually caused the French Revolution.
Badgers Don't Do Breaks: The Grind Really Never Stops
By Lindsey Cardell | Mar. 28, 2019Spring break has sadly come to a close for students at UW-Madison and with it, every student is experiencing the satisfaction of finishing all of the extra homework that was assigned by professors over break.
The Real Devil's Lettuce: Cilantro
By Savannah McHugh | Mar. 28, 2019Local political crusader Sydney Becky McAmanda has been superfluously active on Twitter as of late, claiming she has single-handedly discovered the source of mankind’s evil after a recent drunken jaunt to the local Chipotle.
Vanuatu Shockingly Revealed as 2016 Election Meddlers Rather than Russia
By Dominic LeRose | Mar. 15, 2019New information has come out proving Russia's innocence in 2016 election and points to a small island nation instead.
New major offered within SOHE, ‘Rights Determination Policy’
By Sam Jones | Mar. 7, 2019The explosion in tweets regarding who deserves rights prompted SoHe to add a new major.
Teenage Fever
By Kellen Sharp | Mar. 7, 2019This poem touches on themes of love and longing for a teenage dream.
The Lyrics of my Heart
By Chelsea Hylton | Mar. 7, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking piece comes from Chelsea Hylton.
Jeff Bezos calls for making economy work for all billionaires, not just the ones on top
By Dominic LeRose | Feb. 28, 2019The ba-la-da-gillionaire surprisingly opens up about income inequality.
Melanin Speaking Small Talks: The Greek Goddess Hera
By Fatoumata Ceesay | Feb. 28, 2019This week's Melanin Speaking contribution is a collection of photos from Fatoumata Ceesay.
Avoid Busting A**: A guide to non-slipping success on an icy campus
By Savannah McHugh | Feb. 28, 2019Because Wisconsin has decided to make up for the past three years of snowlessness by dumping it all on us at once, Almanac has decided to share some of its collective, snow-proof wisdom with its loyal readers.
Trump responds to Warren with “Trump Hotel Junior”
By Nick Rawling and Bailey Hills | Feb. 28, 2019In an effort to respond to Elizabeth Warren’s progressive child care proposal, President Donald Trump has presented “Trump Hotel Junior,” a pre-k program for prepubescent patriots.