Jack Donaghy is going crazy for Comcast
The following is an excerpt from the script of an in-production episode for the hit NBC comedy ""30 Rock.""
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The following is an excerpt from the script of an in-production episode for the hit NBC comedy ""30 Rock.""
A bookcase holding my innumerable DVD box sets has a special shelf that should probably be labeled ""The Boneyard."" It holds the complete series sets of ""Dead Like Me,"" ""Freaks and Geeks"" and ""Undeclared,"" to name a few of the remnants of once-great TV series cancelled before their time. And while a few of those fallen series were axed in momentary lapses of judgment on the part of HBO or ABC, one network stands bloody axe in hand as a serial killer of great television—Rupert Murdoch's Fox Broadcasting Company.
Gavin calls out ""Chicken!"" and plunges into the ocean hundreds of feet below. The Count mutters ""I wish I weren't so fat,"" as he makes his way to the opposite point of the radio tower, quotes some lyrics and plunges in after him. The camera cuts to the two of them apologizing to each other on air, The Count with a broken arm and Gavin with a huge cast on his leg.
In ""The Fourth Kind,"" Olatunde Osunsanmi actively attempts to destroy the mystery behind alien encounters with facts. The problem is that mystery is a key ingredient to any film about aliens—that's what keeps us checking over our shoulders as we exit the theater and see weird lights in the sky over the parking lot.
A fan writes:
Jack White carefully winds a length of wire around two fresh nails as uninterested cattle graze in the green field behind him. He brings the wire taut over a glass Coke bottle and secures a round electromagnet beneath. The familiar hum of an amp clicks through the speakers as he twists a knob, sending an electric chill through your spine. White leans over his contraption and starts cranking crazy riffs from his newly minted instrument. The cows look up, amazed.
If you're a fan of ""The Office,"" you've had a tumultuous couple of weeks. Two weeks ago we got ""Niagara,"" the long-awaited wedding of Jim and Pam coupled with some of the best B-plots the show has had in years—no room for Michael at the inn, Dwight's ravenous lovemaking and Kevin's ""conversation-starting"" Howard Hughes footwear, to name a few. Last Thursday, we got a weak ""Look what Michael did"" show about mobsters. All the supporting players got wrapped up in the goofy mafia plot, and Jim and Pam were absent on their honeymoon—in fact, the only bright spots were their brief appearances with various characters on the phone.
‘Humpday' irreverent and hilarious
A stein of Capital Brewery's Oktoberfest brew, a bag of dark chocolate chips, chunks of sliced pineapple and ranch dressing are each a wonderful thing in their own right. But just being delicious doesn't mean mixing them all together in one big bowl will make for the world's greatest snack. In fact, the resulting sludge will probably be a hell of a lot worse than any of the original components on their own.
Have you tried to initiate someone into ""Lost"" over the last two seasons? I attempted to explain to a few friends how time travel, the freighter and Charles Widmore related to being stranded on a desert island; needless to say, their heads exploded, and now I'm down two good friends.
Since the beginning of the genre, the surefire cure for a zombie attack has been a shotgun shell to the flesh-eating head. ""Zombieland"" celebrates this element of the zombie film in all its glory. The resulting film strips away a lot of the darker themes and deeper ideas at work in most zombie flicks, it still makes for a crowd-pleasing, gut-wrenching splatterfest.
Sunday's Primetime Emmy presentation wasn't much different from the year prior, at least within my universe. I was still attempting to watch the awards in the middle of my Sunday night shift at work. I still watched gleefully as ""30 Rock"" won in every category and I still scratched my head when they announced a list of mini-series nominees I'd never heard of. It's like a category just for HBO.
Just as there are Beatles people and there are Rolling Stones people, there are Rock Band people and Guitar Hero people. You can like both, but you have to choose a favorite. I can certainly say upfront that I'm a Rock Band person, and thankfully for all of us, the Beatles certainly seemed to agree with my preferences.
Just as there are Beatles people and there are Rolling Stones people, there are Rock Band people and Guitar Hero people. You can like both, but you have to choose a favorite. I can certainly say upfront that I'm a Rock Band person, and thankfully for all of us, the Beatles certainly seemed to agree with my preferences.
Maybe you've wanted to try out a show like Showtime's ""Dexter"" and you finally got the DVDs from a friend. Maybe you needed to prove to yourself that ""True Blood"" sounds like a stupid show and found yourself proven profoundly wrong. At any rate, this is a condition that all watchers of great TV will find themselves in: a TV binge. The cursed intersection of addiction and the availability of season box sets.
Can you make a sexual intrigue film without any sex or intrigue? No. Need proof? See the boring, 100-minute prelude to a PG-13 girl fight called ""Obsessed.""
The audience's giggles cut to a cold, shocked silence. ""Oh no,"" a woman mumbles in horror, as we witness what appears to be a fairly graphic date rape. We see Ronnie sweatily humping the girl of his dreams as she lies unconscious beneath him, a dribble of puke running down the side of her pillow. And just as we become completely disgusted with him, Ronnie pauses, halting the display long enough for Brandi to take notice and yell, ""Why are you stopping motherfucker?""
We checked in after our 20-hour car ride from Madison to the cheapest hotel near downtown Austin, and within 20 minutes of arriving we were again rushing out the door, dripping from much-needed showers and scarcely dressed for the uncharacteristically drizzly Texas weather. We dashed into a frenzy of conference-goers and film fans desperate to register for the ID badges that would admit them to screenings over the course of the next week. Done there, we were off to the Paramount Theater for the premiere screening of ""I Love You, Man,"" nearly tripping over the red carpet into Jason Segel, who was posing awkwardly five feet in front of us for a photograph.
We aren't all bros. Some of us never mastered the hugs after Badger wins or the art of a graceful body slam to celebrate a flip-cup victory. We hung out with the girls in high school and are better at quoting John Hughes movies than basketball scores. Apparently writer/director John Hamburg felt our pain. With ""I Love You, Man,"" he's given us a comedy that captures the awkwardness of establishing and maintaining male friendships.
Ozymandias gazes at the bank of TV monitors as news reports of the catastrophe air on every station. He turns to his audience, the rest of the masked adventurers from the world of ""Watchmen,"" and plainly asks, ""Don't you see?"" It may as well be director Zack Snyder (""300,"" ""Dawn of the Dead""), anxious as his careful film adaptation of the legendary graphic novel comes to a close. Although he produced a faithful bite-size version for the screen, he seems painfully aware that he could only skim the surface of the world of Watchmen.