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(02/27/08 6:00am)
I'm a creature of habit. Without rituals, I would lead an
entirely directionless life. Every morning when I wake up I have to
rub my tummy in little circles right before I turn the coffeemaker
on and proceed to brush my teeth. When I go to bed, I have to
listen to NPR, have a large glass of water beside my bed and enough
light to keep away ghosts. When I'm hung-over, I have to go house
hunting.
(02/20/08 6:00am)
The best thing about my life is that I usually get what I want.
Not to say I deserve any of it; if it's a material possession, I'll
probably dribble food on it, toss it across the bar after four
vodka water limes or try to cook it for dinner.
(02/13/08 6:00am)
I like the way the salt on his skin tastes in the morning. When
I untangle myself from the sheets, I can't help but coyly smile as
he stares at me in my oversized I Cheese Wisconsin"" T-shirt. Even
though I have not yet brushed my teeth, I pick him up and bring him
to my lips. Sure, he's a day old piece of Ian's steak and fry I
picked up at bar time and brought to bed, but man, he feels like
home.
(02/06/08 6:00am)
As a result of being raised by TLC-giving, fugly
sweater-wearing, church-going Catholic school teachers, I've always
been an observer and avid fan of Ash Wednesday. Mostly because of
the name, for obvious and shallow reasons.
(01/30/08 6:00am)
After the first week of classes, I have people picked out in my
lectures and discussions that I think I would like to be friends
with. They look interesting - they have flattering haircuts, wore a
T-shirt I bought at the same concert and roll their eyes the same
time as I do in lecture.
(01/30/08 6:00am)
After the first week of classes, I have people picked out in my
lectures and discussions that I think I would like to be friends
with. They look interesting - they have flattering haircuts, wore a
t-shirt I bought at the same concert and roll their eyes the same
time as I do in lecture.
(01/23/08 6:00am)
Every January, two people who don't get along have an obligation
to get together - The Person You Actually Are and The Person You
Would Like to Be.
(12/13/07 6:00am)
The 35-foot Christmas tree standing inside the Wisconsin State
Capitol looks like your average tree, but do not be fooled - it's
greener. The tree sparkles with 2,400 energy-efficient LED
Christmas lights and highlights the trend toward socially conscious
consumerism.
(12/12/07 6:00am)
The red X's on my calendar have been accumulating, and that
means the day I've waited months for is almost here - WINTER BREAK!
There seems to be a general consensus on campus that we're sick and
tired of being sick and tired. And dammit, we all deserve a break -
even that one sluggish guy in my class who snores and drools in
class and once woke himself up with his own loud, lingering fart.
(12/05/07 6:00am)
I've never been a fan of the saying all good things must come to
an end."" It may be inevitable, but that doesn't mean I have to
like it. Whoever made that saying up obviously was the same kid who
left parties first and smelled like a mixture of piss, peanut
butter and pencil sharpenings. He became a crotchety old man who
threw a fit when your baseball ended up on his grass.
(11/28/07 6:00am)
After Thanksgiving, the most wonderful time of the year""
officially begins. The Christmas season gives everyone a tingly
feeling inside. Knitted scarves, fireplaces and awkward
spit-swapping under the mistletoe warms even those with frozen
hearts. Suddenly the day-to-day routine of life is permeated with
whiffs of hot chocolate, brightened by sparkling Christmas lights
and, most importantly, the sight of silky Santa thongs on sale at
Target - it's actually pretty hard not to smile.
(10/31/07 6:00am)
If it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. My
dad usually mutters this phrase under his breath while shuffling
through bills, and I have taken my dad's favorite saying to heart
because it completely describes my love life.
(10/17/07 6:00am)
It felt as if I was standing naked in front of my fifth grade
class, save for a pair of nipple tassels. No, this isn't the story
about my friend's birthday party at the strip club - this is the
moment I realized I had boobs. Big ones.
(10/10/07 6:00am)
Everybody has a fatal flaw, a trait making them appear
horrifically ugly, and that will one day destroy their existence.
Some people are too accommodating, taking on too much for others.
Some are too obsessed with themselves. Others are homeless. My
major downfall is I am too honest.
(10/03/07 6:00am)
All of the greatest artists, authors and musicians endured
hardship in their lives. And somehow each cultural contributor has
managed to turn strife into poetry. The best art seems to come from
these people - people like Van Gogh, Hunter S. Thompson and 50
Cent. This makes me feel devastatingly normal, as the hardest thing
I have endured is a two-day hang over.
(09/26/07 6:00am)
I've always liked the biggest assholes - my friends constantly
badmouthed my summer love interest, hoping to wake me up from my
six-foot tall, dark-haired nightmare. But for every attack on his
character, I had an excuse.
(09/19/07 6:00am)
Every now and then, I enjoy a good cry. I pop in a movie
featuring growth-stunted children with lisps and incurable diseases
- and just get all emo.
(09/12/07 6:00am)
I think chivalry officially died when the text message was
invented. After the text, the sext was spawned, making hooking up
easier than ever.
(09/05/07 6:00am)
Mediocrity sucks, normality is overrated and being nice is
downright boring. I don't want my obituary to read people described
Ashley Spencer as a plain, normal, run-of-the-mill kind of girl.
She was an ordinary spirit who was marvelous at being delightfully
typical. She leaves two conventional parents and one standard
brother behind."" That's not enough - I want greatness, glamour and
glitz.
(08/29/07 6:00am)
I wear tank tops year-round because I'm terrified of getting pit
stains. I laugh at inappropriate times, like when people fall or
take off their shirt. I see every mirror as an opportunity to check
out the status of my chest area.