April Fool's antics for devious and unsympathetic only children
I remember when that irritating kid who ate his boogers would pull the your-shoe-is-untied joke and I always fell for it, no matter how much of a sarcastic, scrunchy face I made at him.
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I remember when that irritating kid who ate his boogers would pull the your-shoe-is-untied joke and I always fell for it, no matter how much of a sarcastic, scrunchy face I made at him.
The Associated Students of Madison unanimously passed legislation endorsing a change to the UW-Madison attendance policy Wednesday, which would forbid professors from reprimanding students who were absent due to illness and other personal reasons.
Imagine desert rodents with firearms, a reptilian romance and a mariachi of owl narrators. Add in a great cast of voices, and you've got ""Pirates of the Caribbean"" director Gore Verbinski's newest kids flick, ""Rango.""
It's an experience lost on our generation, but one of the coolest things about record players was how they enabled their users to size up an album with the flick of their fingers.
When I think of the phrase ""blows my mind,"" I imagine my mind looking like a tiny pinprick of light in the depths of my skull. This pinprick then explodes outward, filling my skull cavity with galaxies, nebulae, and dark matter. Very quickly, capacity is reached, my eyeballs burst and stars, chunks of rock and weird blank black spaces pour out of my eye sockets. The following is a list of some things that have this effect on me.
When it comes to details about the New Badger Partnership, Chancellor Biddy Martin has been talking in generalities for nearly a year. Martin has continually called for drastic measures to help cushion the possibility of large cuts to university funding—measures she vaguely described as ""flexibility"" and ""increased tools."" However, when a memo with specifics about the possible shape of the New Badger Partnership was released last week, it seemed as if behind-the-door details that had built up for months were finally made public.
As thousands of protestors flooded campus on their way to the Capitol, some UW-Madison student groups tried to make sense of the proposed Budget Repair Bill for students.
The No. 10 Wisconsin men's basketball team (9-3 Big Ten, 19-5 overall), coming off of an upset of previously undefeated and No. 1 Ohio State (which sounds vaguely familiar) and winners of four straight and seven of their last eight games is now faced with the task of moving on from their big win and preparing for a showdown with No. 11 Purdue.
While students at UW-Madison reveled in their snow day glory Tuesday night, Wisconsin state legislators took refuge in the Capitol to listen to Gov. Scott Walker's first State of the State address. The governor used the stage to praise his legislators, promote smaller government and, of course, cheer on the Green Bay Packers.
Gov. Scott Walker has a problem with perception. Unlike other politicians, who might be living in the past or who are perhaps out of touch with reality, Walker is living almost exclusively in the present. He is, in fact, well adept at assessing the current political climate in order to make decisions and promises that resonate with voters. During the 2010 election he recognized a public distaste for Democratic leadership and a desperate need for jobs. Thus, he bashed wasteful spending and centered his campaign on conservative fiscal policy. His promise to create 250,000 jobs was completely unfounded and lacked any evidence or plan, yet it resonated with frustrated voters and got him elected. It was pure electoral bullshit, a promise that needed only vague explanation and one that would take years to prove or disprove.
Unlike the children who spend at least five minutes crafting their Christmas lists to Santa, Governor-elect Scott Walker did not spend much time thinking through his wish list to Gov. Doyle. Last week, Gov.-elect Walker sent a letter current Gov. Doyle's administration with list of requests. Besides the fact that giving a list of policy demands to a sitting governor is unprecedented and arguably unconstitutional, Walker's letter to Doyle is uneducated, arrogant and makes requests that undoubtedly harm Wisconsin's growth and economy. His list includes a ""freeze"" of any federal health-care bill implementations, suspending employee contracts, hiring new civil service positions and a vague message insisting a shift to natural gas from biofuel at the Charter Street Heating Plant.
The Associated Students of Madison's student judiciary announced its ruling Tuesday that the Student Services Finance Committee must rehear the Wisconsin Public Interest Research Group's request for funding.
Every Monday evening in a dusty, unwelcoming corner of der Rathskeller, about 10 of us gather to share our sob stories of self-loathing and wayward self-control, while smugly judging one another. It's dark, cold, and they're serving beer. Shit.
The Madison Board of Ethics discussed an ordinance Wednesday that places stricter rules on third parties that pay for city officials' expenses.
The Wisconsin Student Interest Group appealed to the student judiciary to receive funding after the Student Services Finance Committee denied the group's eligibility for 2011-2012 Tuesday.
Though you wouldn't know it from the media coverage of this election, there is more at stake tomorrow than seats in government office. Hitting closer to home, a few local referenda deserve attention before heading to the polls tomorrow. Though only two questions will appear on the ballot in Madison, they hit on key issues that should resonate with many college students.
With jangly guitar hooks and straight-ahead drums, Post Electric Blues could just as easily define a genre as it does the latest offering from Idlewild. With a great blend of classic rock and British indie pop, this is the product of a veteran band having fun.
As of today, I have 895 friends on Facebook. I also have an embarrassing number of pictures—864, to be exact—dating from my 15th birthday up until this very weekend. Furthermore, if one were to explore my listed information, he would find multiple e-mail addresses, a list of my favorite music and movies and even a vague description of my political and religious beliefs. To the right of my profile, I see advertisements for sperm donors, Nature Valley granola bars, ""FIFA 11"", and ""Pimped Out Housing at UW.""
With the November elections approaching, closely fought races at every level of Wisconsin politics are heating up. The majority of political debate has centered on job creation in light of Wisconsin's 8.1 percent unemployment rate, and the race for governor is proving no exception. Republican candidate Scott Walker and Democrat Tom Barrett have centered their campaigns on increasing employment as a means to improving the economy. Their plans for doing so, however, are far different.
Currently, fourteen states across the nation allow the use of medicinal marijuana as a treatment for various illnesses. For cancer patients, marijuana is used to remedy the terrible nausea that follows chemotherapy. In people affected by glaucoma, the sticky icky has been shown to reduce irritating intraocular eye pressure. Even for people with AIDS, pot stimulates appetite in order to reverse the debilitating effects of wasting syndrome.