All articles featured in The Beet are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.
Sean “Diddy” Combs, better known as “Puff Daddy” by the kids, was sentenced to over four years in prison after The UW-Platteville Exponent’s award-winning reporting sent shockwaves across the nation.
According to the Exponent’s exclusive coverage — which judges deemed “beautifully written” — P. Diddy was initially arrested on Sept. 16, 2024.
The Exponent was the first source to detail evidence of the rapper’s long-lasting “freak offs,” a fact members of the jury said was “quintessential” to their verdict.
Meek Mill, rapper and distant friend to Sean, said his faith in local journalism is “restored” thanks to The Exponent’s timely article, published two and a half weeks after the arrest of the hip-hop mogul.
“It’s crucial for the journalism industry that national stories like this get covered in local papers,” Mill told The Beet, “if the talented students at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville hadn’t been so diligent about their reporting, Diddy might still be roaming the streets today.”
One of the panel judges, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Michael Che, tweeted that other articles considered for the award were simply “lame as hell.”
Submissions included an Ouija board interview with Jeffrey Dahmer, an open records request detailing Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin’s cottage in Guantanamo Bay and a profile on the owner of a pizza shop sex ring in Baraboo.
Legal scholars told The Beet that Comb’s sentencing will have “virtually no impact” on University of Wisconsin-Madison students.
Our investigative team made no attempt to reach Brother Love, but he has not given us a comment at this time.